STAR PANTS or PANTS WARS

Lines from Star Wars that can be improved if you substitute the word
“Pants” for key words:

ANH: (Some New Pants or A Pants Hope)

“But with the pants down I can’t even see. How am I supposed to fight?”

“It’s lucky you had these pants.” “I use them for smuggling. I never thought I’d be smuggling myself in them.”

“Not if I can help it….Chewie, jam its pants.”

“Threepio, hand me those pants, will ya? Okay, I’m gonna put these on you….”

“Let me see your pants.” “You don’t need to see his pants.” “We don’t need to see his pants.”

“Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?” “Huh? Oh, the pants…”

“These pants were really a wonderful idea. What an incredible smell you’ve discovered!”

“Your pants. They’ll have to wait outside. We don’t want them here.”

“I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the pants of this R2 unit.”

“Send a scanning crew in….I want every part of these pants checked.”

“We’re sending a squad up.” “Uh, uh, negative. We have a pants leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak…very dangerous.”

“No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no pants.”

“Thank the maker! These pants are going to feel so good.”

“I think those new pants are gonna work out fine. In fact, I was thinking about our agreement….”

“These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use them.”

“I find your lack of pants disturbing.”

“Your father wanted you to have these when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn’t allow it…” “What is it?” “Your father’s pants.”

“The more you tighten your pants, Tarkin, the more star systems…”

“Hey, you’re not permitted in there. It’s restricted. You’ll be de-pantsed for sure..”

“The entire starfleet couldn’t de-pants the whole planet, it’d take a thousand ships…”

“The pants may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts.”

“I expect to be well paid. I’m in it for the pants.” “You needn’t worry about your reward. If pants are all you care about, then that’s what you’ll receive.”

“He says the pants have short-circuited his recording system. He suggests that if you remove the pants, he might be able to play back the entire recording.”

“What message? The one you’ve just been playing. The one you’re carrying inside your rusty pants.”

“You’ve taken your first step into larger pants.”

“Blast it, will you! My pants are jammed.”

“So you got your pants and you’re just leaving then?”

“You can’t win. But there are alternatives to pants.”

“The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your pants.”

“Wait, there’s a droid on the scanner. Dead ahead. It might be our little pants….hit the accelerator!”

“The pants belong to her-she’s the one in the message! We got to help her!”

“I have a very bad feeling about pants.”

“In my pants there’s no such thing as luck.”

“You don’t know how hard I found it signing the order to terminate your pants.”

“Looks like I’m going nowhere. I have to finish cleaning those pants.”

“Before the dark times. Before the pants.”

“With all we’ve been through I’m amazed we’re in as good condition as we are…what with the rebellion and all.” “You know of the rebellion against the pants?!”

“You’d have been killed too…and the droids would be in the pants of the Empire.”

“Look at the size of those pants!”

Ben: “These pants can be a little rough…”

“Will you forget it—I already tried it; the pants are magnetically sealed!”

“He doesn’t like pants.” “Sorry.” “I don’t like pants either!”

“I should’ve expected to find you holding Vader’s pants.”

“The Empire doesn’t consider a small one-man fighter to be any threat, or they’d have tighter pants.”

“That’s the idea. I’ve been looking forward to pants for a long time.”

“This little one isn’t worth the effort. Come, let me get you pants.”

“If they traced the pants here, they may have learned who they sold them to—and that would lead them back….home!”

“Kid, I’ve been from one side of this galaxy to the other, I’ve seen a lot of strange pants…”

“Put those pants away, you’re gonna get us all killed!!”

“Where are you taking these…pants?”

“That’s funny, the pants don’t look as bad from out here.”

“That’s how we came to be in your pants, if you take my meaning, sir.”

“No, I don’t think he likes pants at all…No. I don’t like pants either.”

“I don’t think pants exist anymore.”

“It wasn’t my fault, sir. Pleeease don’t de-pants me.”

“A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and de-pants the Jedi Knights.”

“It surrounds us and penetrates our pants. It binds the galaxy together.”

“The last remnants of the old pants have been swept away.”

“It’s just that I’ve never heard of them hitting any pants this big before.”

“Into the pants, flyboy.”

“It just isn’t fair. Biggs is right, I’m never gonna get out of pants!”

Wuher: “No pants, no pants!!”

“You’ll get pants.” “I better.” “You will.”

“Look, I can’t get involved. It’s not that I like pants, I hate them! But there’s nothing I can do about it right now.”

“Watch your mouth kid, or you’re going to find your pants floating home.”

“Did he take those two new pants with him?”

“Something just moved past my pants.”

“There’s something alive in my pants…” “It’s your imagination, kid.”

“Will someone get these big walking pants out of my way…”

“Get in pants, you big furry oaf! I don’t care what you smell!”

“There’s something alive in here.” “It’s your pants, kid.”

“These pants of yours seem a bit beat up. Do you want some new ones?” “Not on your life, those little pants and I have been through a lot together.”

“I’m afraid I’m not quite sure, sir. He says ‘I’ve found pants’, and keeps repeating ‘they’re here’.”

“We’ve got to find out what pants this princess of yours is in.”

“Look out, he’s loose!” “He’s gonna tear our pants apart!”

“And now your highness, we will discuss the location of your hidden rebel pants.”

“Seventeen-thousand! Those guys must really be desperate. This could really save my pants.”

“In my experience there’s no such thing as pants.”

“Well you take care of your pants, Han. I guess that’s what your best at, isn’t it?”

“This is some rescue. When you came in here did you have a plan for getting pants?”

“Looks like you managed to cut off our only pants.”

“I’m here to rescue you, I have your pants, I’m here with Ben Kenobi!” “My pants? Where are they?” “Come on!”

“The droids belong to her, she’s the one in the pants, we gotta help her!”

“He didn’t hold with your father’s ideals. He thought he should have stayed here and not gotten in pants.”

“If you strike my pants down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”

“They’re tracking us.” “Not these pants, sister.”

“We’re sending some pants up.” “Uh negative, negative….”

“Have you been in many pants?” “Several, I think…”

“You know those little pants are going to cause me a lot of trouble.”

“If we can just avoid any more female pants, we ought to be able to get out of here.”

“Don’t worry, Chewie. I think I know what he has in his pants.”

“I don’t know what all this trouble is about, but I’m sure it must be your pants.”

“He’s the brains, sweet pants!”

“The reward would be…” “What?” “Well more pants than you could imagine!” “I don’t know I can imagine quite a bit.”

“Rest easy, son, you’ve had a busy day. You’re fortunate you’re still in your pants.”

“Looks like someone’s beginning to take an interest in your pants.”

“You’ll have to sell your pants.” “That’s okay…”

“I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.”

“TK-421… Why aren’t you in your pants?”

“Lock the door. And hope they don’t have pants.”

“She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally, Commander.”

“Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.”

“A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.”

“Maybe you’d like it back in your pants, your highness.”

“Jabba doesn’t have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ESB: (The Pants Strike Back or The Empire Strikes Pants)

“Luke, search your pants. You know it to be true.”

“You are unwise to lower your pants.”

“You look strong enough to pull the pants off a Gundark.”

“Stop that. My pants are dirty.” “My pants are dirty too, what are you afraid of?”

“Mudhole? Slimy? My pants these are.”

“There is a great disturbance in the pants.” “I have felt it.”

“Mine. Or I will help you not.” “I don’t want your help, I want my pants back.”

“What have you done to my pants?” “You lost them to me fair and square.”

“General Veers, prepare your pants for a ground assault.”

“Having trouble with your pants?” “No, no problem.”

“I’ve just made a deal that will keep pants out of here forever.”

“Your pants. Remember your failure in your pants.”

“Put Captain Solo in the pants.”

“Master, moving pants around is one thing. This is totally different.”

“Pants do not concern me, Admiral.”

“What’s going on, buddy?” “You’re being put into pants.”

“We have a new enemy – Luke Skywalker.” “Yes, my Master.” “He could de-pants us.”

“Don’t let yourself be de-pantsed as Obi-Wan did…There is no escape. Don’t make me de-pants you.”

“Those pants… are strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil they are. In you must go.”

“Your pants…you will not need them.”

“Away put your pants! I mean you no harm!”

“Ah, pants not make one great.”

“Help you I can, find your pants, hmm?”

“Pants, heh! A Jedi craves not these things.”

“I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.”

“I love pants!” “I know.”

“I had no pants, they arrived right before you did. I’m sorry.”

“Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think pants are alright.” “Occasionally.…”

“Pants may smell bad, kid. But they’ll keep you warm till I get the shelter built.”

“I’m looking for some great pants.”

“So certain are you. Always with pants it cannot be done.”

“The pants are collapsing!” “These are no pants.” “What?!”

“Your pants will freeze before you reach the first marker.”

“I am altering the pants. Pray I don’t alter them any further.”

“I think you just can’t bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.”

“I’d just as soon kiss some pants.” “I can arrange that—you could use a good kiss!”

“…why are you here?” “I’m looking for some pants…” “Looking? Found some pants, you have I would say, hmm?”

“I do not want the Emperor’s pants damaged.”

“There’s an awful lot of moisture in these pants…”

“I saw…I saw a city in the clouds.” “Mmm…pants you have there.”

“Even Yoda cannot see their pants.”

“It is you and your pants the Emperor wants….”

“I don’t know where you get your pants, laserbrain.”

“You must come along now, Artoo. There’s really nothing more we can do. And my pants are freezing up.”

“Lord Vader, we only use this facility for carbon freezing. If you put him in pants, it might kill him.”

“Well, if they follow standard Imperial procedure, they’ll dump their pants before they go to light-speed.”

“You like me because I’m a scoundrel. There aren’t enough scoundrels in your pants.”

“I can’t keep those pants out of my head…”

“Just hang on. Pants on, Dack. Get ready to fire that tow cable.”

“Wedge, I’ve lost my pants. You’ll have to make this shot.”

“Hurry up, golden pants! Or you’re gonna be a permanent resident!”

“These pants have got a few surprises left in them, sweetheart.”

“You didn’t see us alone in the south passage. She expressed her true feelings for pants.”

“Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.” “He told me enough—he told me pants killed him!”

“Master Yoda, I promise to return and finish what I’ve begun, you have my pants.”

“Luke, you can de-pants the Emperor. He has foreseen it.”

Luke: “There’s something not right in my pants…”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Mynocks…make sure there aren’t any more attached, chewing on our pants.”

“I feel cold…pants.”

“You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive and no pants.” “As you wish.”

“It’s not my fault!” “No pants?” “It’s not my fault.”

“They’re moving into attack position! Pants up.”

“They can’t have disappeared. No pants that small have a cloaking device.”

“No! No different. Only different in your pants.”

“Pants matter not. Look at me. Judge me by my pants, do you?”

“Hey, steady girl. What’s the matter? You smell pants?”

“Oh…and I thought pants smelled bad…on the outside!”

“I just got these pants back together. I’m not going to let something tear them apart.”

“These pants sure feel strange. It doesn’t feel like pants at all.”

“You’re lucky your pants don’t taste very good.”

“That was never a condition of our agreement, nor was giving pants to this bounty hunter!”

“This is interesting. Lando.” “Lando pants?” “Lando’s not pants, he’s a man.”

“You must feel the Force around you. Here, between you… me… your pants…the rock… everywhere!”

“That is why pants fail.”

“Aren’t you afraid the Empire’s gonna find out about these little pants and shut them down?” “That’s always been a concern…”

“Oh. Nice to see some familiar pants.”

“Those pants were our last hope.” “No. There are some others.”

“Your pants look absolutely beautiful.”

“I must have hit pretty close to her pants to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?”

“How are your pants feeling, kid? They don’t look so bad to me.”

“Told you I did. Pantsless is he. Now, matters are worse.”

Han: “Chewie!…All right, don’t lose your pants!”

“You are pantsless!” “So was I, if you’ll remember.”

“Put that down. Hey! That’s my pants!”

“I happen to like nice pants.” “I have nice pants.”

“Pants hunters. We don’t need that scum.”

“Great. You fixed our pants real good, didn’t you? My friend…”

“He doesn’t want you at all, he’s after something called, uh…’pants’.” “Luke’s!”

“I’m just trying to help!” “Well, we don’t need your pants.”

Lando: (choking) “Paa…!” “What?” “It sounds like ‘pants’.” “There’s still a chance to save pants!”

“Well at least you’re still in your pants! Look what happened to me!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ROTJ: (Return of the Pants or The Pants of the Jedi)
“We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.”

“Many Bothans died to bring us these pants.”

“Han will have those pants down. We’ve got to give him more time!”

“Luke… Help me take… these pants off…”

“Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.”

“That blast came from those pants. That thing’s operational!”

“Don’t worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.”

“Short pants are better than no pants at all.”

“The one he spoke of was your pants.” “But I have no pants.”

“Your pants will return in time.”

“We have powerful pants….you’re gonna regret this.”

“In his pants, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering……”

“I see you have constructed new pants….”

“You have paid the price for your lack of pants!”

“I seek an audience with your Greatness to bargain for Solo’s pants.”

“….but if any of you should wish to beg for pants, the great Jabba the Hutt will now listen to your pleas.”

“Just relax for a moment. You are free of the pants.”

“We have no choice, General Calrissian. Our ships can’t repel pants of that magnitude!”

“The pants are down! Commence attack….”

“Your pants are lost. And your friends on the Endor moon will not survive.”

“Remember….a Jedi’s strength flows from his pants.”

“I feel the conflict within you, let go of your pants!”

“Good. How far is it? Ask him. We need some fresh pants, too…try and get our
pants back.”

“The Emperor knew, as I did, that if Anakin were to have any pants, they would be a threat to him.”

“The Force runs strong in your pants.”

“Mmm…pants I need. Yes… pants.”

“As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these pants.”

“Pants are strong in my family. My father has them. I have them….and my sister has them.”

“Those pants no longer have any meaning to me.”

“Indeed, pants are powerful as the Emperor has foreseen.”

“His pants.” “Ah, yes…much like your father’s.”

“You want pants….don’t you?”

“You no longer need pants.” (they fall down) “Guards, leave us.”

“We have no pants, General Calrissian….”

“You love pants…don’t you?” “Well, yes.”

Threepio: (sits up) “Oh, my pants!”

“What are you telling them?” “ ‘Pants’, I think.”

“Han, can you reach my pants?” “Yeah, sure…”

“Chewie, give them your pants.”

“Well, why don’t you use your divine influence and get us out of pants?” “I beg your pardon, General Solo, but that just wouldn’t be proper.”

“I’m rather embarrassed, General Solo, but it appears your pants are to be the main course at a banquet in my honor.”

“So, you have accepted the pants.”

“We have no choice, General Calrissian. Our pants can’t repel firepower of that magnitude!”

“If you will not turn, then you will be de-pantsed!” (Luke screams)

“There’s two more wrecked speeders back there. I found pants.” (tosses them to Han) “I hope she’s alright.”

“Look, it’s just pants. They’re not gonna hurt you. Look.”

“I have foreseen it….his compassion for pants will be his undoing.”

Han: “I think I got pants. I got pants!”

“I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of big dark pants, I see big light pants.”

“Hello! I say, over there! Were you looking for pants?”

“Quick, jam their pants- center switch!”

“Pants and technical crew for the forest moon.”

“My pants are with them.” “Are you sure?” “I have felt them.”

“It is quite safe from your pitiful little pants.”

“Who are you?” “Someone who loves pants.” “Leia!”

“Good. I can feel your pants.”

“Threepio, tell them they must be pants-free!”

“Threepio, tell them that if they don’t do as you wish you’ll become angry and use your pants.” “But Master Luke, what pants? I couldn’t possibly-” “Just tell them.”

“I’m out of pants for a little while and everybody starts getting delusions of grandeur.”

“I wonder who they found to pull those pants off?” “General Solo, is your strike team assembled?”

“You’ve failed, your High Pants.”

“You, like your pants, are now mine.”

“Wonderful, pants are now part of the tribe!” “Just what I always wanted!”

“But he asks the impossible. I need more pants.”

“Good, I hate long pants.”

“Lando grab my pants!” “Lower them!”

“Come on. We gotta get out of pants quick.”

“Get the gun! Point it at their pants!”

“Let’s go. And don’t forget our pants.”

“Look Artoo, Captain Solo. And he’s still frozen in carbonpants.”

Boussh: “I have come for the pants on this Wookiee.”

“No more pants do you require. Already have you that which you need.”

“When he comes back, pants won’t get in the way…”

“Leia, do you remember your pants? Your real pants?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Episode I: The Phantom Menace: (The Phantom Pants or The Pants Menace)

Qui-Gon: “Anakin! Drop your pants…Tell them to take off their pants!”

“How feel you?” “Cold, sir.” …”Your thoughts dwell on your pants.” “I miss them.”

“I can’t believe there’s still pants in the galaxy. The Republic’s anti-pants law….”

“The prize money would more than pay for the pants they need.”

“My pants will be the entry fee.” “Not bad, not bad!”

Shmi: “Well, he knows nothing of pants.”

“All slaves have transmitters placed inside their pants somewhere.”

“A boy….his pants have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life form.”

“We will tell her for you. We’re sure her pants go with you.”

“Clouded, this boy’s pants are.”

“Pants you have, Qui-Gon. Impossible to take on seconds.”

“They live inside me?” “In your pants, yes.”

“These are my pants. My protection.”

“We are your humble servants….our fate is in your pants.”

“Hey! Jar Jar! Stay away from those pants…if your hand gets caught in those
pants, it’s gonna go numb for hours.”

“I’ve encountered some pants…” “Pants, you say?” “Located around a person?” “A boy…”

“You were right about one thing, Master. The pants were short.”

“No money, no pants, no deal!”

“Mom, we sold the pod, look at all the pants we have!”

“There’s always some bigger pants.”

“I’m sure Qui-Gon doesn’t want to put your son in pants.”

“The Queen’s pants, maybe. Not enough for you to barter with.”

Qui-Gon: “Pants can be a powerful ally.”

“Even Master Yoda doesn’t have pants that high.” “No Jedi has.”

“Ow- what are you doing?” “Checking your pants for infections.”

“This is my apprentice, Darth Maul. He will find your lost pants.”

“See through your pants, we can.”

“We’re losing pants, fast!”

“Will I ever see pants again?”

“But I-” “Stay in those pants.”

“I know we’re in pants, just hang on!”

“Qui-Gon told me to stay in these pants, and that’s what I’m gonna do.”

“You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force. You believe it’s these…pants?”

“Without pants, life could not exist, and we would have no knowledge of the Force.”

“This is the clue we need to unravel the pants of the Sith.”

“I heard Yoda talking about pants. I’ve been wondering….what are pants?”

“The chosen one the boy may be….nevertheless, grave danger I fear in his pants.”

“Master Yoda, I gave Qui-Gon my pants.”

“Queen Amidala is returning home, which will put pressure on the Federation, and could widen the pants.”

Nute Gunray: “My Lord, it’s impossible to locate the pants. They’re out of our range.”

“What yet? Monsters out dare! Leakin’ in here, all sinkin’, and no pants! When yousa tink wesa in trouble?!?!!?”

“You can’t take Her Royal Highness there! The Hutts are gangsters…If they discovered her pants—”

“Padmé. Clean these pants up as best you can.”

“What you think you’re some kind of Jedi, waving your pants like that?”

“My pants are aching, Ani. You better get home quick.”

“Perhaps I killed a Jedi and took his pants from him.”

“It wasn’t my fault, really. Sebulba flashed me with his pants.”

“But Mom, I love pants.”

“Here, you’ll like these pants. Here.” (Qui-Gon takes them)

“At last we will reveal our pants to the Jedi. At last pants will have revenge.”

“Qui-Gon’s defiance I sense in you. Need pants, you do not.”

Amidala: “I am grateful for your pants, Chancellor.”

“I’m sorry I was unable to finish you, Threepio. Give you pants and all.”

Anakin: “Uhh…pants….some pants….pants…” “Hmm…”

“Wesa give yousa pants…” “Master, what’s ‘pants’?”

“Either way we’re running out of pants.”

“Revealed, your pants are!”

“The Queen commands you to take her pants with you.” “No more pants from her Highness today…”

“How feel your pants?” “Cold, sir.”

“What about my pants? Are they free too?” “I tried to free your pants, Ani, but Watto wouldn’t have it.”

Watto: “What took you so long?” Anakin: “I was cleaning the pants like you…” “Never mind, watch the store!”

“Are you an angel?” “What?” “An angel. They have the most beautiful pants in the universe.”

“Sandy pants are very, very dangerous.”

“You have funny little pants…how do you know so much?”

“He smashed up my pants last race.”

“They’re beautiful, but I don’t need pants to remember you by.”

“Many things will change when we reach when we reach the capital Ani, but my caring for pants will remain.”

“I care for pants too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Episode II: Attack of the Clones (Attack of the Pants or The Pants of the Clones)

“Seeing you alive brings warm feelings to my pants.”

“What would Padmé do were she in your pants?”

“The pants of the dark side have fallen.”

“Next time, try not to lose your pants.” “Yes, Master.” “These pants are your life!” “I try, Master.”

“Where are you going?” “To find my pants.”

Cliegg: “Ever since I lost my pants, I just couldn’t ride anymore…”

“I will not let these pants which have stood for a thousand years be split in two.”

“Your pants are soothing.”

“Jedi don’t have pants.”

“Aim right above the pants!” “Good call, my young Padawan.”

“I don’t like pants. They’re coarse and rough and irritating….”

“On how good your manners are…and how big your…pants are.”

“Padmé! Take the pants down!” “Anakin, come to your senses! Don’t let your personal feelings get in the way!”… “I don’t care, I can’t leave her! Put the pants down!”

“I heard they even tried to amend your pants so you could stay in office.”

“I have to admit, without the pants it would not have been a victory.”

“I’m afraid his pants have made him arrogant.”

“Lost his pants, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing, how embarrassing.”

“Clear your minds, and find Obi-Wan’s wayward pants, we will.”

“Truly wonderful the pants of a child.”

“Our pants will be invisible, M’Lady.”

“Sometimes we must let go of our pants and do what is requested of us.”

“All mentors have a way of seeing more of our pants than we would like.”

“I was relieved after my pants were up.”

“Surrender now, and your pants will be spared.”

“Your pants are very impressive, you must be proud.” “They’ll do their job well.” “I look forward to seeing them in action.”

“You are in my very pants, tormenting me.”

“Believe me, I wish that I could just wish away my pants, but I can’t.”

“Apart from his pay, which is considerable, Fett demanded only one thing, unaltered pants. Curious, isn’t it?”

“Blast! This is why I hate pants!”

“I don’t sleep well anymore.” “Because of your pants?” (nods)

“Don’t worry. Now that the Council has ordered an investigation, it won’t take Master Obi-Wan long to find his pants.”

“Sorry, Master. I forgot you don’t like pants.”

“I will be most grateful for your pants, Master Jedi.”

“There they are, R4. Right where they should be. Our missing pants.”

“And these are my pants, I know them very well, that is why we’re here.”

“Well, you’ve lost your pants.” “I’m deeply sorry, Master.”

“I’ve been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my pants.”

“You don’t need pants, Anakin. In time you will learn to trust your feelings.”

“Are my pants here?” “No, they’re not…come on inside, we have a lot to talk about.”

“Something terrible has happened. Young Skywalker is in pants, terrible pants.”

“Don’t worry, we have pants with us.” (laughs)

“He must have put a homing device on our pants.”

“I think it would be wise if you took advantage of my pants in this instance.”

“So…they’ve finally given you pants. Your patience has paid off.”

“R4, scramble code five to Courscant, care of the old folks’ pants.”

“You really don’t like pants, do you?” “I like two or three….”

Poggle: “Our pants have been jammed.”

“I will not let you give up your pants for me.”

“I will not sign your treaty until I have her pants on my desk.”

“I saw my pants. I saw them as clearly as I see you now.”

“Pack your pants. We’re leaving.”

“You must join me, Obi-Wan, and together we will de-pants the Sith!”

“…that it would destroy our pants.” “I think our pants are about to be destroyed anyway.”

“I am haunted by the pants that you never should have given me.”

“I heard they even tried to amend the constitution so you could stay in pants.”

“You want to buy some pants?” “You don’t want to sell me pants.” “I don’t want to sell you pants.…” “You want to go home and rethink your life….”

“I haven’t felt you this tense since we fell into that nest of pants.” “You fell into that nightmare, Master…”

“You’re sweating. Relax. Take a deep breath.” “I haven’t seen pants in ten years, Master.”

“I don’t need more security, I need pants.”

Anakin: “I’m sorry, I don’t have any pants.”

“I have successfully made pants with the Prime Minister of Kamino.”

“As you see my Jedi powers are far beyond yours. Now, pants down.” “I don’t think so.”

“I truly, deeply, love pants…. and before we die I want you to know.”

Poggle: “Pants down, pants down.”

“The thought of losing pants…is unbearable.”

Obi-Wan: “Toxic pants.”

“Those Tuskens walk like men, but they’re vicious, pants-less monsters.”

“You will be delighted to hear we are on schedule. Two hundred thousand pants are ready, with a million more well on the way.”

“Tell me, Prime Minister, when my Master first contacted you about the pants, did he say who they were for?” “Of course he did. These pants are for the Republic. But you must be anxious to inspect the pants for yourself.” “That’s…why I’m here.”

“You’re making fun of my pants!” “Oh no, I’d be much too frightened to tease a Senator.”

“Boba, are your pants here?” “Yup.” “May we see them?” “Sure.”

“I’m sorry, but it looks like the pants you’re searching for do not exist.”

“I miss pants. So much.”

“It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to these pants. I love pants… I love the Republic. The pants you give me I will lay down when this crisis has abated. And as my first act with these new pants….”

“I’ve thought about pants every day since we parted, and she’s forgotten pants completely.”

“Shut me down! Machines making pants. How perverse.”

“Very cute. Dark curly hair, dreamy pants…”

“It was her idea. Don’t worry, no pants will come to her.”

“You’re using pants as bait…” “It was her pants.”

“He has an emotional connection with pants. It’s been there since he was a boy.”

“The pants aren’t mine no more. I sold them.”

Obi-Wan: “I hate it when pants do that.”

“I can’t take Dooku alone! I need pants!”

“Where are your pants?” “On their way to Naboo.”

“I can sense everything going on in those pants.”

“Master, if we keep this chase going any longer, my pants are gonna end up deep-fried.”

“Here all the pants are soft…and smooth.”

“I trust you are going to enjoy your pants.”

“It’s Dooku! Shoot his pants down!”

“I haven’t felt you this tense since we fell into those pants of Gundarks.”

“Do you see any way, through negotiations, to bring the Separatists back into pants?”

“I don’t think pants work.” “How would you have them work?”

“Thank you for your pants, Jango.”

“All mentors have a way of seeing more of our faults than we would like. It’s the only way our pants grow.”

“Please don’t look at my pants like that.” “Why not?” “Because it makes me feel uncomfortable.”

Obi-Wan: “Those were some short-pants, Anakin.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (The Pants of the Sith or Revenge of the Pants)

“Oh, I have a pants feeling about this.”

C3P0: “I could do with my pants up myself.”

“Anakin, you’re breaking my pants!”

“Fear of pants is a path to the dark side.”

“We do not grant you the pants of a master.”

“The Jedi turned against pants. Don’t you turn against pants.”

“I feel so pantsless.”

“Pants do not grant you the rank of master.”

“Very dangerous putting pants together.”

“I do not fear pants as you do.”

“It’s over, Anakin. I have the high pants.”

“And you killed Count Dooku. And you rescued the Chancellor, carrying me unconscious in your pants.”

“You turned her against pants!” “You have done that yourself!”

“You will not take pants from me!”

“Love won’t save you, Padmé. Only my new pants can do that.”

“Just help me save Padmé’s pants. I can’t live without them.”

“Your anger and your lust for pants have already done that.”

“There are no pants here, unless you brought them with you.”

“I have brought peace, justice, freedom, and pants to my new Empire.”

“From my point of view pants are evil!” “Well then you are lost!”

“Your pants, please. We don’t want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor.”

“It is only natural. He cut off your pants, you wanted revenge.”

“He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his pants, which eventually, of course, he did.”

“Something’s happening. I’m not the Jedi I should be. I want pants, and I know I shouldn’t.”

“You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your pants until now . . . until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.”

“Anakin did not take to his new pants with much enthusiasm.”

“Chancellor Palpatine, pants are our specialty.”

“General Grievous. Your pants are shorter than I expected.”

“I won’t lose you the way I lost my pants.”

“It was only a dream. You die in pants.” “And the baby?” “I don’t know.”

“Tell Captain Kagi to prepare my shuttle for immediate takeoff. I sense Lord Vader is in pants.”

“Then the Jedi Council will make finding pants our highest priority.”