Space Herpes?

Ice Pirates (1984)
Starring: Robert Urich, Anjelica Huston, Ron Perlman
Writers: Stewart Raffill and Stanford Sherman
Director: Steward Raffill

Somehow I managed to miss this one growing up. Why they felt the need to make so many good fantasy ideas into cheesy camp back in the 80’s I’ll never know, but I have to say I rather enjoyed this. Read more

Hehe Ferrets

The Beastmaster (1982)

Starring: Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts, Rip Torn
Written by: Don Coscarelli, Paul Pepperman, Andre Norton (novel)
Directed by: Don Coscarelli

Beasts. Kodo and Podo. There was a time when a movie could be made about a man who wears a loincloth and travels with a pair of ferrets, a black panther, a hawk, and a stupid hot chick, equally half naked (the chick) and you’d have a huge cult success and everyone would love you. Come to think of it, that’s just a damn fine premise. Read more

I’m in ur Sparta, licking ur oracle.

Starring: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West
Written by: Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad, Michael Gordon
Director: Zack Snyder

Every frame of this battle epic is composed as a page from a graphic novel, as was the intention of its producers. To this effect this movie is immensely successful. As for story, there is no real character development here, save for King Leo’s minor struggle with revealing his emotions.

The Persians here are painted as monsters and mutants, of which they are neither in reality, and this depiction can be at first offensive as we see the Spartans as the perfect human specimen. However, this film is not at all interested in reality, and one can easily tell from the first sepia-toned frame that this is a fantasy story set to dramatize an historical event. The monsters are therefore not made to insult the nation of Persia, but to heighten the stakes for the Spartans, as they are 300 perfect warriors against an unbeatable army, and although they do not prevail, their spirits are never crushed, and they never lay down their freedom.

Special kudos to the visual department. Great visuals on top of a fairly shallow tale of war.

C+