I don’t care what other people say, but when I get a profile of you from the side and you look like a caveman with a Jay Leno type jaw line, then no, you aren’t hot Mariel, in any way. Personally, if I’m in Psi Corps and they are arranging a marriage with someone like Talia I’m never complaining, but it could be some ugly chick like what happened to Londo. Is Talia really worth the chance that you could get an uggo as well, sure, why not. Finally, it must be hard for Keith Szarabajka to get work where he’s not the bad guy. His voice is just not a good guy voice, and I’ve never seen him in anything where hew wasn’t the bad guy.

Written By: Peter David

Directed By: John C. Flinn III

Bare Essentials:

A Plot - It’s the 30th anniversary of Londo’s Ascension Day and as a present the Emperor has allowed him to divorce two of his three wives. In a preemptive strike one of his wives, Mariel, decides to try and kill him with a booby trapped Centauri artifact. Another wife Timov supplies the blood that allows Londo to survive the attack, but will only do so if Londo is not told of her gift. Londo decides to keep Timov as his wife because she is loyal and also tells him where he stands, and as such he divorces Mariel and Daggair.

B Plot - Talia Winters’ former husband Matt Stoner has arrived on station. He has come to take Talia away with the promise that he can remove her Psi ability and allow her to lead a normal life. Turns out he’s just working for Psi Corps and wants to bring her back so that they can be mated again and possibly produce someone else with the empath powers that he possesses. Garibaldi realizes this and stops Stoner before he can leave with Talia.

C Plot - Delenn is having difficulty with the physical aspects of being human and enlists Commander Ivanova to help her learn how to handle herself.

More Arc, Less Arch:

Talia’s growing sense of unease with the Psi Corps has been built up over a number of episodes. It will culminate in A Race Through Dark Places but will be twisted around in Divided Loyalties.

The Minbari and their views on souls have been well represented in episodes like Soul Hunter and Points Of Departure. The subject is also tackled somewhat in the episodes And The Sky Full Of Stars, War Without End, Pt. 2 and the movie In The Beginning as well as for a tiny bit in the novel To Dream In The City Of Sorrows.

Who Are You? What Do Yo… Hey, I’m Asking The Questions Here!:

What exactly is the relationship between Mariel and G’Kar?

Just who exactly was in on the plot to kill Londo?

Idiosyncratic Musings:

It’s not a moral play or a philosophical meaning in any way, but the main issue of Soul Mates appears to be the person responsible for Londo’s attempted murder. I think it’s fairly obvious that Mariel was in on it, G’Kar even tells us as such. But, the issue then comes down to who was aiding her in the attempt. Stoner appears to be in on it, but that is highly questionable. What ties if any does he ever show towards Mariel or anyone Centauri, or even G’Kar for that matter? He doesn’t and his inclusion in the attempt would be tenuous at best, and that leaves his bringing the statue to be a coincidence. The only person left is G’Kar, and while his ties would be hard to prove I do also believe he is on it. If nothing else he either previously had a relationship with Mariel of some sort, or when she found out what Londo’s intentions were she went to G’Kar for possible aid against his hated nemesis. If that is the case then it’s entirely possible that G’Kar knew about the statue and its true purpose and alerted Mariel to what the statue could do. Outside of Stoner not being involved and Mariel definitely being involved it’s still a very gray topic in my mind with many different possible scenarios.

Londo chooses Timov and at first that may seem like an odd choice and one that doesn’t make that much sense. But, in actuality it makes perfect sense. Mariel just tried to kill him, and Londo knows this. Daggair is scheming and could care less about him. Timov speaks her mind to him all the time, and while she doesn’t have feelings for him she is loyal to him and would not waver in that loyalty. Timov was the smart and the correct choice, especially for a marriage that is pure political show.

A small point is the last line from Delenn, the one that reveals she is going through the human female menstrual cycle and therefore could have a human/Minbari child. This does raise all kinds of questions, such as her right to have said child, would it be natural, would there be any complications for her in the birthing process, etc.. Personally, my view on any matter like this is that outside of abortion, it’s the woman’s body and she can do whatever she wants. So, as long as she’s not doing something like ending the child’s life while still in the womb, and I don’t mean for medical reasons, she can do or have whatever she wants. But, this also brings into play the issue of the child and how it would interact with the rest of society, but that’s more of an issue for a later season.

I See What You Did There:

Londo’s three wives are Daggair, Timov and Mariel, but by the end of the episode only Timov remains.

Talia was married to another telepath, Matt Stoner, but that marriage was annulled when he left the Corps.

Stoner is an empath, meaning he has the ability to control the emotions of others. It’s unclear if he’s the only one or if there are more like him.

Say It Again Mac:

Londo, “Either in medlab or in hell. Either way the décor needs work.”

Londo again, “How odd. And I didn’t even know we were married.”

Funny exchange,

G’Kar, “If I were married to Londo Mollari I’d be concerned.”

Mariel, “G’Kar, if you were married to Londo Mollari, we’d all be concerned.”

Delenn, “Well, now that you mention it…Do you have any idea why I suddenly started getting these odd cramps?”

It’s Your Cultural Imperative:

Minbari do not bathe, they use a chemical compound that strips away the outer layer of the skin. This process is supposed to represent being born anew each day. The Minbari don’t sweat either, rather they exude some sort of fluid while they are asleep.

In their first year at the Psi Corps academy new students are assigned a senior trainee to supervise them. The Psi Corps also arranges marriages between their members based on how compatible they are genetically and how powerful their potential offspring would be.

Maybe its just coincidence, but when Talia is talking to Sheridan about her marriage there is a statue in the 20th century Earth exhibit that looks exactly like a larger version of the Centauri artifact that Londo receives from Mariel.

Londo is celebrating the 30th anniversary of his Ascension Day. It’s never made quite clear what that day entails, but it appears to me that it may either signify passage to adulthood or into politics. The actual celebration is a lot like the religious ceremony we saw from the Centauri in The Parliament Of Dreams. Except for Ascension Day is all in Londo’s honor and the guests must be bare foot.

The Markab are observing a day of high fasting. But, even the Markab who observe it try to cheat and obtain food and when they are caught by the priests this usually results in a small fight of some sort.

The Minbari believe that some souls are naturally attracted to each other and therefore lifetime after lifetime the same souls continue to run into each other.

On various former Centauri occupied Narn colonies there are numerous booby traps designed to react specifically to Centauri DNA or molecular structure.

Centauri blood is very hard to synthesize.

I Think This Might Be Based On Something:

Timov’s father is Algul, which is Arabic for demon. Due to his comic background it is possible that Algul is a slight reference to Batman’s eternal nemesis Ras Al-Ghul.

Timov is of course, vomit spelled backwards.

You Look Mighty Familiar:

Keith Szarabajka, Matt Stoner, played Teero in the Star Trek: Voyager episode Repression. He also played Anthony Tipet in the episode Via Negativa of X-Files. He was Dan Lubetkin for a couple of Roswell episodes. He was Damrus for the Star Trek: Enterprise episode Rogue Planet. His most memorable genre role would be that of surrogate father to Connor and immortal enemy of Angelus for a series of episodes of Angel.

Carel Struycken, the Trader, played Mr. Homn for a series of Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes. He was also the Giant for a bunch of Twin Peaks episodes. His biggest role was that of Lurch in Addams Family, Addams Family Values and Addams Family Reunion. However, he was also in the dreadful Ewoks: The Battle For Endor as Erak.

Lois Nettleton, Daggair, played the Ghost’s erstwhile girlfriend, Belle Crocker in the episode Ghost In The Machine of The Flash.

Jane Carr, Timov, portrayed Mary Reed on the Star Trek: Enterprise episode Silent Enemy. I most remember her for a trio of appearances she had on the always hilarious Curb Your Enthusiasm as the character of Fran Metzgar.

Casting Ahead:

The character of Mariel will not be seen again on the show, but she will be an important figure in The Legions Of Fire trilogy.

David L. Crowley is back once again as Officer Lou Welch.

That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen:

Mariel, Timov and Daggair look nothing like the three wives we saw in a picture that Londo had of them in The War Prayer.

The door to Londo’s quarters remains open long after Vir and Timov have entered to allow for Daggair to have a dramatic entrance through an open door. Later, when Garibaldi leaves the interrogation room that door also stays open to allow for Sheridan to leave the room dramatically a few seconds later. Later, when Timov comes to medlab to decide to give her blood to Londo the medlab door is magically open already to allow her silent dramatic entrance. All three instances shouldn’t happen since as we have seen many times the doors on B5 close right after someone enters/exits and don’t stay open waiting for someone else to pass through at a later time.

It’s been established that Psi Corps has total control over their members, and it will be further established that when they tell you to marry someone for the genetic offspring, you marry them. There was no need for Stoner to have to trick Talia into coming back, at this point she is still loyal to the Corps and because of that all they would have to do is tell her that she will marry Stoner again. Whether or not she would comply is a different matter, but the process of getting her to marry Stoner should have been more straight forward and it is pretty big continuity gaffe as is.

Another problem with Stoner secreting Talia away is that it doesn’t work at all when you take Divided Loyalties into account. If she does actually have a secondary personality then all Psi Corps would have to do is activate that and bring her back to be with Stoner. The counter argument that they wanted her to stay as a mole on B5 more than to mate with Stoner also doesn’t work because whether they activated her secondary personality or not they did send Stoner to try and get her to come back.

The Ombuds Have Decided:

Soul Mates is a humorous, touching and insightful episode. Peter Jurasik is spot on with his performance, providing both levity and gravitas when it is needed. Luckily, Jane Carr is equal to the task as Timov and stands up to Jurasik’s performance throughout and delivers strong work of her own. Soul Mates excels in two areas, humor and character. The humor in Londo’s plot not only serves to make you laugh, but it also helps to hide much of the character reveal happening with Londo so that it doesn’t feel heavy handed or forced. Londo’s character shines brightly in Soul Mates as all his pettiness, regret, insecurity and finally conscience is put on display for all to see. The Delenn/Ivanova subplot also helps add to the humor aspect of Soul Mates as well as revealing slight factors behind Delenn’s character in a very subtle way. Unfortunately, Soul Mates does contain a rather lackluster Talia plot that is ridiculed with logic leaps in its resolution and hampered by too much machismo, bravado and a strong moment for the female in the climax that feels false. But, the main Londo plot and the small Delenn plot are strong enough that the weakness of the rest of the story doesn’t drag the episode down all that much.

The plot between Delenn and Ivanova was a small thing, but it was a very funny thing and it was also quite realistic. On most shows the minor technicalities of someone undergoing the major change that Delenn’s character went through would have been glossed over or never explored at all. Babylon 5 looks at those minor aspects and explores them, in humorous fashion, helping to make Delenn’s transformation all the more real.

The entire resolution to the Stoner situation doesn’t make much sense. When the experiment turned him into an empath Psi Corps wouldn’t let him go as they would want to replicate the results of said experiment. They also wouldn’t have to go through some charade of officially letting him go while unofficially keeping him in house because they’re Psi Corps. The outside world doesn’t know much about their inner workings and they would have no problem keeping someone like Stoner’s secret from the outside world without the tiring charade. Then it’s topped off with the idea that Stoner had to trick Talia into returning with him. That was a continuity hole, and look above in That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen for the full scoop on that. The entire ruse to get Talia to leave with him is forced and doesn’t make sense because of how it works against continuity and because of that the entire plot doesn’t make much sense or work. It’s also not needed, we’ve already had one ex-lover of Talia’s show up on station, Ironheart in Mind War, with new powers and cause trouble, so the entire plot seems rehashed.

As I stated above the performance from Jane Carr was a thing of beauty. She stood toe to toe with Peter Jurasik and was quick and vicious with every barb that came from her lips. While the dialogue was witty on its own, her delivery is what sold the dialogue. Without her sardonic sense of delivery and timing I don’t think the episode would have been anywhere near what it was. Most importantly, in the one moment where it was required that she wasn’t funny, vicious or strong she was able to be vulnerable and hurt. A bravo performance from a heck of an actress, and one of the few times where a guest star can actually keep up with Peter Jurasik.

Rating:

84/100

B

Soul Mates is all over with, although I didn’t see any soul mates within. Next up is A Race Through Dark Places and more Talia, we’re in the middle of a Taliapalooza.

Cheers,

Bill

Previous – 2.06

Next – 2.08

You may be hot Talia Winters, but you have quite the disconcerting laugh. Secret organizations and terrorist cells are all the rage in this episode, not that they make a lick of sense or are interesting in the least, but hey, they’re here. Really, I’m struggling for anything to say about this episode, it left me empty, like a soulless monstrosity, but since I don’t believe in souls I don’t know where that leaves me?

Written By: Lawrence G. Ditillio
Directed By: Kevin G. Cremin

Bare Essentials:

A Plot - An old friend of Talia’s, Taro Isogi is murdered by a former Mars terrorist Abel Horn shortly after he had concluded a meeting with Mars Government representative Amanda Carter. It’s discovered that Horn was near death at one point and was taken by a secret organization known as Bureau 13 and reprogrammed into a cyborg like being for their purposes. Captain Sheridan figures this all out and is able to save Talia from Horn’s clutches, but not before Horn attacks Sheridan and his troops and is killed in the process.

More Arc, Less Arch:

It’s a minor thing, but Sheridan’s conversation with Senator Voudreau gives a brief glimpse into the political landscape back on Earth and how freedoms being circumvented for the greater good will become more and more the norm and lead to organizations like the Ministry Of Peace and Nightwatch.

A Spider In The Web gives a tiny glimpse into Ivanova’s growing feelings for Talia. She shows concern for Talia and their growing relationship will continue until the episode Divided Loyalties.

Bureau 13 isn’t arc related, but the flashing screen that represents Control may be. It bears a striking resemblance to the same screen that is used on a brain washed Garibaldi in the season 4 episodes The Summoning, Epiphanies and Conflicts Of Interest. While I don’t think that signal was related to Bureau 13 specifically, it is very possible that it’s either a general Psi Corps brain washing signal or that Bureau 13 is no more and was folded into the Psi Corps facility on Syria Planum.

A bit of an odd arc point is that of Talia and Control. First you have the issue of Talia lying to Sheridan about what she saw in Horn’s mind. She is either lying out of loyalty to the Corps or because her secondary personality is forcing her to do so. But, I don’t believe in the second reason, so for me it’s more out of loyalty and therefore would only be a minor ac point that deals with Talia’s growing disenfranchisement from the corps. Then there is the issue of Control, and who exactly Control is. It’s an issue that is never answered, although some have posited that it’s answered in Divided Loyalties, and that Control is actually Talia. I don’t buy that for a second, because it’s frankly idiotic. Control orders Horn to kill Talia and as we will discover in Divided Loyalties Talia’s secondary personality is programmed for self-preservation. With that being the case there is no way that Control in A Spider In The Web would order Horn to kill Talia if this Control were in fact Talia’s secondary personality because then Control/Talia would be ordering Horn to kill herself. What I come away with from all of this is that we have no idea who Control is, never will, and any attempt to link it to Divided Loyalties is stupid.

Who Are You? What Do Yo… Hey, I’m Asking The Questions Here!:

Just who is Control?

If as Sheridan asserts and the episode shows cyber implants aren’t stable at all in human brains, then how the heck do the Vickers, as seen in Deathwalker, exist?

I See What You Did There:

Any meetings of a private nature on Babylon 5 are just that, private. Whether they are corporate, national or something else they are private and they are not subject to any interjection from the Station or Earth authorities.

Talia’s first assignment was to Mars Colony.

One of Mars’ moons, Phobos, gets a mention.

After the last Mars rebellion the Mars Conglomerate, a powerful group of Mars businessman, almost left Mars.

There’s a decease of unknown capabilities, it may be fatal though, known as Torg’s Syndrome.

Sheridan’s trait of collecting information on secret organizations will be dropped summarily the moment this episode ends and never be touched on again.

Yes, I Am A Fleet Junkie:

The EAS Pournelle, an Omega Class Destroyer, makes an appearance in Abel Horn’s mind. It shoots down his transport over the moon of Phobos.

Let’s Go Planet Side:

We see Earth for the first time as we get a passing glimpse of the San Diego Wastelands. It’s an impressive shot of a city that is completely in ruins.

It’s Your Cultural Imperative:

When telepaths are brought into Psi Corps at an advanced age they are assigned a senior telepath to help guide them. They serve as surrogate parents for the first year that the new telepath is in the Corps.

In the 2230’s EarthForce conducted cyber experiments, known as the Lazarus Project, fusing a living person with a machine/computer that would control their actions. They also would receive prosthetic implants that would allow them to access data crystal ports, communication ports and to deliver a lethal electrical charge from the prosthetic hand. The experiments were eventually abandoned by EarthForce, although they appear to have been picked up by Psi Corps, due to most of the test subjects being highly unstable.

Bureau 13 is a secret Psi Corps government organization. They operate out of the San Diego Wastelands. Their purpose and intent is unknown and since they aren’t heard from after this episode they really don’t matter.

I Think This Might Be Based On Something:

It’s not based on it, but there was a computer game by the name of Bureau 13 and that is the reason why there was never any mention of Bureau 13 after this episode.

The EAS ship Pournelle is named after science fiction author Jerry Pournelle.

There’s a transport ship called the Matheson that gets mentioned in A Spider In The Web. That is named after science fiction and horror writer Richard Matheson, whose most famous work was I Am Legend.

Amanda Carter’s great grandfather, John Carter, is based on the John Carter from Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Barsoom series of novels.

Can’t believe I didn’t mention this yet, but the design for the Omega Class Destroyer is an almost exact replica of the Alexei Leonov from the 1984 sci-fi film, 2010.

You Look Mighty Familiar:

Jessica Walter, Senator Elise Voudreau, provided the voice of Fran Sinclair on the series Dinosaurs. But, as much as I liked Dinosaurs the role everyone should know her from is that of Lucille Bluth on the shortly run but hilarious Arrested Development.

James Shigeta, Taro Isogi, played Vietnamese President Chi for a couple of episodes of SeaQuest DSV. He is probably most famous for his part as the ill fated Mr. Takagi in Die Hard.

Jeff Conaway, Zack Allen, is most known today for the fact that he’s a sort of fat dude that is completely crazy and throws fits on celebrity weight loss shows. But, prior to Babylon 5 he was most well known as Bobby Wheeler from Taxi.

Adrienne Barbeau, Amanda Carter, is most famous to me for her role as the snake charming seducer Ruthie on Carnivàle. She portrayed Cretak in the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges. She was Mother Morehouse in the Sliders episode Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?. She voiced Selina Kyle/Catwoman for a number of appearances on Batman: The Animated Series. She has starred in a number of B movies, but her most famous genre roles would be that of Alice Cable in Swamp Thing, Wilma Northrup in Creepshow and Maggie in Escape From New York.

Casting Ahead:

Zack Allen makes his first appearance on Babylon 5 as a security officer. He will be back many times before finally becoming a cast regular from season 3 onwards.

That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen:

When Talia goes to visit Amanda Carter, Carter is already unconscious. If that’s the case then the door never should have opened since it’s been established that it’s necessary for the occupant of the room to command the door to open from the inside.

The Ombuds Have Decided:

A Spider In The Web is an episode that’s too dependent on one plot. Nothing else happens in the episode besides that one plot, therefore A Spider In The Web sinks or swims based on the strength of that plot. Unfortunately the Abel Horn plot isn’t that strong. It features characters we don’t know or care about involved in events that we don’t know or care about. A second subplot would have greatly benefited A Spider In The Web. Something to draw away from the plight of Horn and the too corny Control & Bureau 13 would have been a welcome respite. A Spider In The Web falls short on humor, dialogue, intrigue, action and story. But where it falls short the most is in how unimportant it is to the overall story of Babylon 5. If the episode itself isn’t that good then at the very least a tie-in to the greater arc of the season or series could help it, but no such tie-in exists in A Spider In The Web at any level that is significant. A Spider In The Web goes through the motions and we go along for the ride. But, it’s a ride we forget as soon as it’s over and we don’t feel the need to hop back on any time soon.

I find Ivanova’s initial reaction when told that on the Observation Dome that there’s been a murder to be over the top. She acts shocked and surprised, but this is B5 we’re talking about, people are murdered on the station all the time. There’s no reason she should be shocked about this random murder. Claudia Christian did follow that up with some nice acting after she accidentally let slip that she was concerned for Talia and then tried to cover it up with fast and distracting talk.

The ending to A Spider In The Web is just too clean. Everything is tied up in a neat and tidy bow. Talia will speak to FutureCorp, and Amanda Carter will continue to hammer out Isogi’s proposal with FutureCorp. The audience knows there’s zero chance of Isogi’s plan taking shape now that he’s dead, and the characters should know this as well, it’s a bunch of nonsense that would never happen in real life. In short, it’s a contrived Hollywood ending.

Rating:

62/100

C-

Thank Odin that A Spider In The Web is over with, next we shall try to reclaim my nonexistent soul in the Londo-centric Soul Mates.

Cheers,
Bill

Previous – 2.05

Next – 2.07

Franklin is back in pimp mode, but this time he’s shot down. This is not a moment that will be highlighted in Franklin’s Guide On Being The Ultimate Pimp! Are the pale colored Drazi the same as an albino human, because that sucks for them if that’s the case. What’s the deal with all the yelling and running around, Amis needs to chill man, just chill. Speaking of needing to chill, maybe the Soldier of Darkness just need to take a nice relaxing vacation, maybe that would stop him from eating everyone’s organs.

Written By: Scott Frost
Directed By: Mario Di Leo

Bare Essentials:

A Plot - An old Earth ship, the USS Copernicus has drifted into Babylon 5 space. Contained within are Mariah Cirrus, who has been in cryogenic freeze for over a hundred years, her dead husband Will and one Soldier of Darkness. The arrival of the Soldier sets off a lurker on the station named Amis who had encountered the Soldier once before. With the help of Mariah and Amis the Soldier is cornered by Garibaldi, Sheridan, Ivanova and some security forces where they destroy it.

B Plot - A lurker named Amis has fallen on hard times. Since the Earth-Minbari War ended he has been a shattered man and now his enemy from the past has returned. With the help of Garibaldi he confronts his enemy and is able to vanquish it and possibly regain his life in the process.

C Plot - Like usual, there’s a new woman on the station and Franklin is putting the moves on her. This time however he is rebuked as Mariah decides she needs to return to Earth and find herself first.

More Arc, Less Arch:

Garibaldi’s comment that Amis was about to accuse Londo of being in league with the devil isn’t so much an arc moment as it is a meta type of moment in its simplicity.

The Shadows are all over the place in this episode,

Amis’ yells about “they’re coming through the walls” when we first see him harkens back to the episode Babylon Squared and Garibaldi’s claims in the future destruction of B5. It’s probable then that it was the Soldiers of Darkness that were coming through the walls and attacking Babylon 5 in that possible future scenario.

The Markab Ambassador makes reference to an ancient darkness, it’s defeat many years ago and the ancient darkness’ recalling of forces in the present. The ancient darkness he refers to is of course the Shadows, and for speaking openly about the Shadows the Markab will face some serious repercussions in Confessions And Lamentations.

G’Kar is especially interested in what the Markab Ambassador has to say and this leads him to consult with the Book of G’Quan. In the book he sees an illustration of a Soldier of Darkness from many years ago when the Shadows were on Narn. The Book of G’Quan will come into play later on in helping to deal with the Shadows in Ship Of Tears. The illustrations pertaining to the Shadows in the Book of G’Quan will pop up again in the episode, Matters Of Honor.

It’s revealed at the end of the episode that the Soldier of Darkness is being recalled to Z’ha’dum, and this means that it is being recalled by the Shadows. Based on what we find out about the “awakening” of the Shadows in the episode In The Shadow Of Z’ha’dum I believe it’s safe to assume that the Soldier was inert on whatever planet it occupied when the arrival of the Minabri and humans during the Earth-Minbari War woke it up, and it went to feed and then became dormant again until it received the call to return and used the Copernicus to that end. For more info on what is going on in the rim or who might be getting called back to the rim check out The Passing Of The Techno-Mages: Book I: Casting Shadows and Book II: Summoning Light.

Who Are You? What Do Yo… Hey, I’m Asking The Questions Here!:

Why would the entire command staff enter an unknown space craft without any security detail?

I question the logic of doors in security holding cells that open when someone on the inside merely walks towards them. Even if Garibaldi’s key card unlocked the door from the outside, why not place another card reader on the inside for security purposes?

Idiosyncratic Musings:

Mariah’s inquiry about people not evolving past violence is a standard tenet of futuristic science fiction. It’s also a basic philosophical idea that has been debated for years. There are two schools of thought present. One argues that people will always be different and therefore there will always be something to fight over and there will always be violence, war and strife. The other line of thought is that one day people will become more enlightened and realize that violence is not the answer and we will enter a more utopian age where peace takes the place of violence and aggression.  I’m in the non-Star Trek camp, I don’t believe we will reach any stage of universal enlightenment. As a species we are too different and too inherently protective of those differences. For as long as the human race lives on there will be war, violence and strife.

I See What You Did There:

In order to preach openly on B5 you need a Class C missionary license.

DeValera is a cardiac drug.

Garibaldi served in the Earth-Minbari War as a GROPO.

Long term stasis dries out the tear ducts, although this may just be a trait common to humans.

Say It Again Mac:

Amis, “Well, I’ve found that life is, in general, much easier if I forget most of the things that happen to me.”

It’s Your Cultural Imperative:

For a short time on Earth, right before contact was made with the Centauri, deep range ships, sort of like the shuttles we have today, were launched into space with the crew in cryogenic suspension. The ship would drift along until it picked up some sort of signal. It would then gravitate towards that signal and the crew would be woken from stasis when the aliens boarded the vessel. Based on how history panned out it’s obvious none of these ships were successful.

Before building their own jump gates Earth would lease time from the jump gates of other races.

GROPO is the new term in EarthForce for infantry, it stands for Ground Pounder.

Don’t know if I mentioned this before, but there is a pale skinned Drazi in this episode. They are quite rare within the Drazi race as I believe they are only seen once or twice. The scene was bizarre in and of itself as the Drazi looks up at the Soldier in almost genuflection as seen from the Soldier’s point of view.

The Soldier of Darkness is an unknown race and since it’s barely seen it can’t be described in any great detail. It appears to have horns on its head and a demon like face. It’s also a transient being, it has the ability to shift from a solid to an energy being. It is massively tall and appears to gain sustenance by removing the internal organs from its victims through some unknown means. This can be done either before or after it emaciates its victim and feeds on their muscle and fat, also through unknown means. When it dies the Soldier appears to vanish into nothingness.

I Think This Might Be Based On Something:

The Copernicus is named after the famed astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus who was the first to posit and prove that the Earth was not the center of our solar system.

Amis is most likely based on the prophet Amos from the Old Testament of The Bible. Just like Amis, Amos spent the majority of his time warning people about upcoming calamities and disastrous events.

Amis proclamation of, “I’ve got everything a man needs.” as he leaves the security cell could be a reference to The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

The drug DeValera is most likely named after Eammon DeValera, an Irish politico and poet who liked to cause trouble.

You Look Mighty Familiar:

Dwight Schultz, Amis, is most famous for his long run as Capt. H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock on A-Team. He also had numerous appearances as the bumbling Lt. Reginald Barclay on Star Trek: The Next Generation as well as in Star Trek: First Contact and again in numerous episodes of Star Trek: Voyager. He’s also had quite the career as a voice in numerous video games and TV shows.

Anne-Marie Johnson, Mariah Cirrus, had a long run as Althea Tibbs on In The Heat Of The Night. She also played numerous characters on the sketch comedy show In Living Color as well as playing Alycia Barnett for a bunch of episodes on Melrose Place when they decided , “Hey, have you noticed that every single person on this show is white, we need to do something about that.” She voiced the character of Mousie for a trio of episodes of Spider-Man.

Casting Ahead:

Warren Tabata makes his final appearance in the series as a nameless guard.

Kim Strauss is back on the show, and he continues his run as the man of many faces, this time he’s the Markab Ambassador.

James Kiriyama-Lem is back as the nameless Med Tech.

Jennifer Anglin is back as some unnamed Alien.

That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen:

When Garibaldi has his talk with Amis in the security cell, the door doesn’t close behind him. This is in contrast with what we see the same security door do earlier in the episode and what all doors on Babylon 5 do.

Right before the scene where Garibaldi is explaining the listening post incident to Sheridan and Ivanova there is an out of place scene with Garibaldi looking for Amis. I believe it was supposed to have been placed earlier in the episode, because in its current position it makes no sense. Garibaldi is searching through down below, probably for Amis, hears a scream, runs towards the scream and then they cut to Garibaldi talking to Sheridan. It was a very abrupt cut and doesn’t fit tonally with what was going on so it must be a mistake.

Amis says that the Soldier could pass through walls, and the episode shows the Soldier to be able to become an energy being. Yet when entering the Copernicus there was a 10% loss of oxygen. This doesn’t jive with what Amis has said and what we see in the episode. To be honest when placed under close scrutiny a lot of things about the Soldier and his actions before coming to B5 don’t hold up.

The Ombuds Have Decided:

The Long Dark is an intriguing episode. It works at creating a very dark and foreboding atmosphere. A lot of vagueness is used to create that atmosphere and that is also where The Long Dark falters. While the minimalist approach helped with the atmosphere it hurt when it came to the actual appearance of the main villain. The Soldier of Darkness is too vague to be scary, frightening, or ominous when finally seen in the battle at the end. I understand what they were going for, unfortunately it didn’t quite work out. But, The Long Dark is still a good episode because of the atmosphere, some solid acting and an interesting story.

I liked the way they shot from the Soldier’s point of view on numerous occasions. It was both obvious and subtle. It’s obvious once you know you are seeing things from the Soldier’s point of view, but it’s also subtle enough that it blends in naturally with the rest of the camera work throughout the episode.

As much as Franklin is the pimp of all pimps on Babylon 5, his getting close with Mariah Cirrus not only seems wrong but is kind of unbelievable on her part. She just found out her husband was dead mere hours earlier and she’s already in the middle of hooking up with another dude while spouting pathetic excuses about their marriage not being the best. Weak sauce in the excuse department on her part and not a storyline that I bought.

I do have a minor issue with the Soldier of Darkness. Babylon 5 is a series built on ambiguities and the fact that there is no true evil or good, yet the Soldier has been made into a purely evil being that doesn’t think at all. It’s also a bit dicey that it somehow was in hibernation on a barren moon for years without sustenance and then woke up and ate all the Minbari and humans before going dormant again until the Copernicus arrived. This is a situation where less back story would have helped because even the little bit of back story we are given on the Soldier cheapens him as a character and makes him a little less plausible.

Dwight Schultz gives a great performance as Amis. He imbues Amis with tremendous pathos and character. Amis is dark, disturbed and a tad insane. But at the same time there’s still a man there, one with wit, regret, fear and a great feeling of loss over the fact that he’s still alive. He says he died on that moon, but through his performance we see that’s not the case. He’s very much alive, but so little of what he was before he encountered the Soldier is left that he feels dead. Great performance from an actor that I didn’t think was capable of creating such a moving character.

The end confrontation with the Soldier is less than satisfying. It works at first, all the way up until the Soldier enters the “kill zone.” When that happens and it finally falls it’s very anti-climatic and you’re left with a “that was it?” feeling.

Rating:

82/100

B

The Long Dark is over, it’s all over. Our next journey will involve arachnids as we look at A Spider In The Web.

Cheers,
Bill

Previous – 2.04

Next – 2.06

That’s quite possibly the lamest “Yes, Sir!” I’ve ever heard. I don’t know how things work in EarthForce, but you can get shot for that sort of stuff around these parts. Sweet boots Captain Maynard, all white and spiffy, me likey! If only Keffer hadn’t of found his way back to the station, I’d be a very happy man. I’d also be willing to explore Ivanova’s expanding Russian borders at a moment’s notice, I’m free for that sort of exploratory mission.

Written By: D.C. Fontana
Directed By: Jim Johnston

Bare Essentials:

A Plot - The Cortez, an EarthForce Explorer Class Research Ship has made its way to Babylon 5 for re-provisions. After they leave with their new supplies in tow their reactors malfunction and the resulting explosion leaves the ship adrift in hyperspace with no way to lock on to the beacon and find their way out of hyperspace by themselves. Luckily for them Babylon 5 receives their distress call and on orders from Captain Sheridan they send out a squadron of Starfuries that form a line of ships to lead the Cortez back to B5’s jump gate. A Shadow Battle Crab appears and destroys one Starfury and disable another one, but not before the damaged Starfury is able to show the Cortez the way to B5. Later, Lt. Keffer returns in the damaged Starfury and the problems with hyperspace are over.

B Plot - The arrival of Captain Sheridan’s old friend Captain Jack Maynard has stirred up feelings of wanderlust in Sheridan. He begins to question his placement on Babylon 5 and yearns to be back on a ship exploring the galaxy again. After a stern talking to from Ivanova and a visit from Ambassador Delenn that puts things in perspective Sheridan leaves his wanderlust behind and realizes he is right where he needs to be on Babylon 5.

C Plot - Dr. Franklin decides that the entire command staff need to eat better so he puts all of them on food plans. They of course rebel and in the end even Franklin succumbs to their wishes and eats something definitely not on the approved good eating list with Garibaldi.

More Arc, Less Arch:

As the episode ends up showing, the conversation about things living in hyperspace deals with the Shadows. The story in Universe Today about things living in hyperspace that Keffer refers to was seen in And The Sky Full Of Stars. But, far down the line in the Crusade episode The Well Of Forever we’ll see that there really are things living in hyperspace.

For more strange goings on out on the rim around this time check out The Passing Of The Techno-Mages: Book I: Casting Shadows and Book II: Summoning Light.

The new feelings that the Minbari hold towards Delenn will play out in the episodes There All The Honor Lies, And Now For a Word, before finally being resolved in Atonement.

Who Are You? What Do Yo… Hey, I’m Asking The Questions Here!:

How exactly does Garibaldi assign the shoplifters he catches to community service? We know that B5 observes the idea of due process and the right to a fair trial because of the Ombuds. That throwaway line doesn’t work at all.

Why doesn’t the Cortez just jump out of hyperspace? As far as we know the Cortez’s jump engines aren’t damaged, so it should be able to jump to real space from its present position. Unless, in Babylon 5 you have to lock onto a jump gate and it’s hyperspace route in order to jump, but that’s never been explained.

Idiosyncratic Musings:

Delenn’s conversation with Teroon about the feelings of the Minbari on Babylon 5 towards her illustrates a couple of things. First, the idea of not accepting that which is different. Secondly, the notion that the Minbari people must accept Delenn’s change without question because they don’t have the right to question someone of her authority. Neither is a strict Minbari way of thinking and doesn’t reflect badly on Minbari as they are very common “people” traits. Both are in fact bad ideas, because people should be accepting of change while at the same time be allowed to question said change.

I See What You Did There:

Sheridan’s first post was the Moon-Mars Patrol, where his commanding officer was Jack Maynard.

With its rescue the Cortez becomes the first ship lost in hyperspace ever to be found again, although it is unclear whether that encompasses all races or just humans.

Keffer is promoted to Commander of Zeta Squadron, although it’s not an official promotion in rank because he still maintains the rank of Lieutenant.

Say It Again Mac:

Great exchange,
Ivanova, “Now suddenly, I am the expanding Russian frontier.”
Franklin, “But with very nice borders.”

Yes, I Am A Fleet Junkie:

We get to see an EarthForce Explorer Class Research Ship for the first time. The Cortez in this instance, and it is massive, easily the largest non-First One vessel seen on the show and obviously it can form its own jump point. The Cortez’s rotating middle section does provide a workable gravity inside of the vessel, and despite it’s main function being that of exploration and jump gate construction an Explorer does carry two squadrons of Aurora Class Starfury Heavy Fighters, 16 in total, and an armament. The armament consists of 4 pulsed plasma cannons, 4 twin particle cannons, and 62 Mk. I defense grid energy projectors. An Explorer can defend itself, but that is about the extent of their capabilities as most other capital ships from any other race would be able to take out an Explorer in a fight. Looks wise the Explorers resemble a skeleton, or a bare bones design with a construction looking outer shell. It’s an interesting ship to look at, that’s for sure.

We get to see the shadows again and a Battle Crab Class Attack Cruiser. A Battle Crab emerges into hyperspace and destroys a lone Starfury with the energy it emits upon its arrival. It then bumps into Keffer’s Starfury and knocks most if its systems offline in the process. Later we see another Battle Crab, or maybe the same one, pass through the area where Keffer is stranded. My problem with their appearance in A Distant Star is that they don’t destroy the Cortez or Keffer’s Starfury. At this point in time the Shadows still don’t want their presence to be known, yet when they make contact with a Starfury that is near an Explorer vessel they just leave them be and don’t bother destroying them and I don’t buy that.

It’s Your Cultural Imperative:

According to Delenn the Minbari believe that living beings are the universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out.

I Think This Might Be Based On Something:

The Cortez is named after infamous, or famous depending on your point of view, explorer, Hernándo Cortez. He conquered the Aztecs and destroyed their culture, ensuring Spanish control of Mexico in the process.

The Egyptian blessing that Sheridan recites is taken from the short story, Paladin Of The Lost Hour, by Harlan Ellison.

Delenn’s speech about star stuff has many similarities to part of Carl Sagan’s Cosmos, and it also shares a part of the play The Effect Of Gamma Rays On Man-In-The-Moon Marigolds, written by Paul Zindel.

You Look Mighty Familiar:

Russ Tamblyn, Captain Jack Maynard, has appeared in many genre and non-genre roles, but he’s most famous genre wise for his many appearances as Dr. Lawrence Jacoby on Twin Peaks and its film follow up Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. His daughter Amber Tamblyn may be recognizable to some for her role as the lead on the slight genre show Joan Of Arcadia as Joan Girardi.

Miguel A. Núñez Jr., Orwell, appeared in the Lois & Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman episode Neverending Battle as Jules. But, his most famous role was in the atrociously bad Street Fighter as Dee Jay, a Jamaican con artist who was a weakling in the movie despite being a chiseled and huge kick boxer in the video games. He brought more awesomeness as Sticks in Leprechaun 4: In Space. However, for those who aren’t fans of terrible genre movies you may remember him for his starring role as Jamal Jeffries, AKA Juwanna Mann in Juwanna Mann.

Casting Ahead:

Patty Toy returns as random cast member Ogilvie to make her last appearance on Babylon 5. She previously appeared as the Psi Corps member that spoke to Talia Winters in A Voice In The Wilderness, Part 1.

Kim Delgado is also back for his final appearance on Babylon 5 as the unnamed Comm Tech in the background of C&C.

That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen:

There’s a bad bit of dubbing involving the female communications officer shortly after the reactor on the Cortez has malfunctioned. She’s talking but her lips aren’t forming the words she’s saying.

The Ombuds Have Decided:

A Distant Star isn’t a bad episode, but it doesn’t give you anything to care about. None of the characters or situations are appealing, save the appearance of the Shadows. We’re not given any reason to care about the Cortez or her crew, nor have we been given any reason to care about Keffer or Galus. A Distant Star is an episode where all the trouble centers around periphery characters that haven’t been fleshed out in any way and that doesn’t give you a reason to care about the content of the episode. The dialogue is a bit shaky as well, it lacks many real conversation moments and instead is a series of speeches and declarations. A Distant Star isn’t a memorable episode. It’s not a good episode, it’s a passable episode that happens to just be there.

The biggest problem with A Distant Star is that there really is no dilemma with the Cortez. They have a number of options that they can fall back on if there mayday doesn’t work. They have just gotten provisions and since they are usually out on the rim for years they could survive on those provisions for years. They have a jump engine so they have the ability to open a jump point out into real space. If that fails they have the ability to construct and lay out jump gates, so they could always do that. There’s really no intrigue to a stranded ship when in all actuality it isn’t stranded at all.

I’m still not a fan of sticking Keffer into meet-ups, such as the one earlier in the episode at Earhart’s. They don’t help his character or add to his story. All they try to do is make him seem important by association, but he’s not an important character. Stick him in a Starfury and let him do his thing, but quit shoving him in conversations with the rest of the main group when he doesn’t belong there.

The entire line of “no ship lost in hyperspace has ever been found” serves the reason for the episode. The entire episode exists so that Sheridan can look like even more of a tactical genius when he does find and save the Cortez. That’s perfectly fine, I just wish the execution would have been a bit better, and so many of the build up scenes hadn’t of been so melodramatic.

Delenn’s conversation with Sheridan is a small thing, but looking back on the series it is clearly the beginning of their relationship and a pretty important moment. Another important scene is the one where Garibaldi and Franklin share dinner, because this establishes how close their friendship has become. The importance of this will become obvious later on when Garibaldi helps Franklin to realize the destructive path he is on and in effect saves his life in season 3, while Franklin returns the favor and saves Garibaldi from a certain death in season 4, in a situation where if he had been wrong about Garibaldi he would have died along with him.

Rating:

67/100

C

That’s it for our trip to the stars, and a distant one at that. Next we shall take a journey into The Long Dark.

Cheers,
Bill

Previous – 2.03

Next – 2.05

Magic is everywhere, Vir is really sacred, not of the Techno-Mages mind you, but of Londo. Can you blame him, a few drinks in Londo and who knows what will happen? For all he knows Vir could wake up the next morning married to a Drazi and be none the wiser for why he’s in that pickle. Sheridan’s a bit pushy, dude back off, I have a dragon in my pocket, and it’s not the puff-puff type. I’m a green guy myself, but I’m all about love, not war, so I know how I would end any color related conflicts.

Written By: J. Michael Straczynski
Directed By: Mike Vejar

Bare Essentials:

A Plot - A group of wizard like travelers, Techno-Mages, have arrived on Babylon 5. They are merely passing through as they attempt to leave known space. Londo Mollari is pestering them for an endorsement while Captain Sheridan is refusing to allow their departure until they have let him know where they are headed. Their leader, Elric, deals with the Londo problem by at first cursing him with spells and then giving him a foreboding message for the future. He then smooth talks Sheridan into allowing them to leave.

B Plot - Security Chief Garibaldi has been cleared to come back to work, but he doesn’t know if he’s worth anything anymore. Amidst contemplating suicide he stumbles upon Ivanova in a bit of trouble and when his first hand knowledge of how Ivanova operates is what leads to her rescue he decides he does have something to offer to the station after all.

C Plot - The Drazi Freehold uses an odd political system, where every five years they randomly choose either a green or purple colored cloth and fight to determine which group will lead the Drazi for the next five years. This time things turn ugly as the green Drazi begin killing the purple Drazi and it’s up to the newly promoted Commander Ivanova to deal with the problem. All of her attempts fail, and she is even kidnapped at one point, but in the end through luck she finds a solution to the problem and the fighting on B5 comes to an end.

More Arc, Less Arch:

The alliance that Refa and Londo form will have big consequences for the Centauri as well as the rest of the universe. The ramifications of their alliance will be felt in The Coming Of Shadows, Knives, will end in Ceremonies Of Light And Dark, reach a boiling point in Interludes And Examinations, and finally come to its ultimate end with a death in And The Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place.

The son of the Centauri Emperor has died, and while it may seem like small matter it will become very important in The Coming Of Shadows, and its impact will most dejectedly be felt in the season four episodes, The Hour Of The Wolf, Whatever Happened To Mr. Garibaldi?, The Summoning, Falling Toward Apotheosis and The Long Night.

The reason for the travels of the Techno-Mages, the fate of Elric and the ultimate fate of the entire Techno-Mage culture as well as some of their back story will be revealed in The Passing Of The Techno-Mages: Book I: Casting Shadows, Book II: Summoning Light, and Book III: Invoking Darkness.

Pay close attention to the opening fight between the Drazi in the Zocalo at the beginning of the episode. The purple Drazi who bumps into the green Drazi to start the fight isn’t exactly who he appears to be, and neither is the purple Drazi that comes flying off the bar in the middle of the fight. To find out who they really are, read The Passing Of The Techno-Mages: Book II: Summoning Light or wait for my review of that book a long, long time from now.

The title of the episode has the word Shadows in it, and at first it may appear to be just a word and not be related at all to the race of the same name. But, the Shadows are all over this episode even if we don’t know it. It will be revealed in small doses in all three novels, The Passing Of The Techno-Mages, what role the Shadows play with the Techno-Mages and why they are instrumental in the Techno-Mages desire to leave known space. It will also be revealed in The Passing Of The Techno-Mages: Book II: Summoning Light that the Shadows may play a part in the political system in use by the Drazi.

Sheridan’s reference to taking B5 back a thousand years will play out, just not with B5, in War Without End, Part 2.

The black and terrible storm Elric mentions is the upcoming Shadow War, or it could also be all the major dark events that will transpire as a result of the Shadows after the Shadow War has ended.

Elric’s statement to Londo about seeing his hand reach out from the stars will later come to Londo in a dream in the episode, The Coming Of Shadows.

Who Are You? What Do Yo… Hey, I’m Asking The Questions Here!:

On what authority is Earth restricting the departure of the Techno-Mages from B5? They have broken no laws, caused no problems and should be allowed to traverse wherever they please.

Did the Drazi stop killing each other outside of Babylon 5?

Did the escalation to killing carry over to future green/purple “elections“?

We know that at the end of this year the Drazi will be at war with the Centauri. The Centauri attack them less than a year after this episode. Are the Drazi still fighting each other, or did the radical actions to end the green/purple conflict on B5 end the conflict between the Drazi all over the universe? Or, was the conflict still going on and it was ended prematurely when the Centauri attacked?

Idiosyncratic Musings:

Garibaldi’s entire plot line is an understated but strong one. It’s the simple story of a man not doing that which he has always done before. Whenever things have gone against him or radical changes have been thrust upon him he runs away. Now, for the first time he stays put and faces that change, challenges his fears and figures out that he is needed. People do count on him and it is necessary for him to accept that change in his life for the betterment of all those around him. There’s also the strong undertone of suicide in this plot line and that makes Garibaldi’s final actions all the stronger. It’s good storytelling and the culmination of over a year of Garibaldi growing to be this person.

A point of contention about The Geometry Of Shadows appears to be the stupidity of green/purple and people like the Drazi making their way to the stars. My response to that is simple, take a gander at Earth why don’t ya? We are a planet full of idiotic, nonsensical governments, institutions, teachings, etc.. Yet we have already reached the stars. The idea behind green/purple appears to function about as efficiently as any election process or government does in the present day. While this may be sad, it does show why green/purple shouldn’t be contentious at all.

I think the Drazi green/purple idea is a rather obvious allegory for a couple of issues. The first issue is addressed in the episode proper and that’s the idea of two groups fighting over a simple difference in cloth, like for instance, a flag. It’s pretty simple, people fight over cloth all the time, although I think Ivanova bangs home the point about fighting over a flag being different. The Drazi aren’t fighting for any ideals or way of life, but most wars fought over a flag involve those tenets in some way. The second allegory in The Geometry Of Shadows is that of racism. The Drazi are fighting each other for no reason other than a difference in color. People the world over do this and they are all idiotic, simple as that.

I See What You Did There:

Ivanova is promoted to the rank of Commander.

Garibaldi’s off hand reference to a changeling net will make sense to my readers when I finally get around to reviewing the pilot, The Gathering, or if I put aside my ego for a second, it will make sense to anyone who reads my reviews and is already a Babylon 5 fan.

Say It Again Mac:

Drazi leader, “Rules of combat older than contact with other races. Did not mention aliens. Rules change caught up in committee. Not come through yet.”

Great exchange here,
Elric, “As I look at you, Ambassador Mollari, I see a great hand reaching out of the stars. The hand is your hand. And I hear sounds. The sounds of billions of people calling your name.
Londo, “My followers?”
Elric, “Your victims.”

Lost In Translation:

Sheridan, “Since you hadn’t, I thought the mountain should visit Mohammed after all.” Way, way too hammy.

It’s Your Cultural Imperative:

This is the first and only appearance of the Techno-Mages on Babylon 5 (at least in TV format, they will be back for Crusade, as well as in numerous novels). They aren’t a race, but rather a group culture. They do, in fact, use science and technology to create the illusion of magic.

Once every five years the Drazi separate into two camps, based on random color draw and fight to see who will be in charge of the Drazi. This conflict lasts for one year. The Drazi have not yet taken into account the existence of aliens and how that relates to their political practice. This, of course, provides some interesting problems.

The Drazi week is six Earth days and the Drazi year is 1.2 Earth years, and cycle is the term for the Drazi year.

I Think This Might Be Based On Something:

Elric’s warning to Vir is an almost exact quote by the character of Gildor in J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord Of The Rings novel.

The character of Elric is a nod to the character of the same name from Michael Moorcock’s Elric of Melniboné series of novels. It’s also possible that he is a nod to the character of Elrod from Dave Sim’s long running comic book, Cerebus, because that character was also based on Moorcock’s Elric.

There is a definite correlation between Londo seeking the approval of the Techno-Mages and the three witches that Macbeth consults in William Shakespeare’s play, Macbeth.

You Look Mighty Familiar:

William Forward, Lord Refa, played the minor character of Dr. Whilhite in the episode Tina, Is That You? Of The Flash. He also played the minor character of Mercer in the Space: Above And Beyond episode, Mutiny. You may recognize him as the doctor that discovers Joyce has cancer in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode, Shadow.

Michael Ansara should be well known for supplying the voice of Dr. Victor Fries, or Mr. Freeze in various episodes of Batman Beyond, The New Batman Adventures and Batman: The Animated Series. He also played Kang in the Star Trek episode, Day Of The Dove and he would later reprise that role in a Star Trek: Voyager episode, Flashback as well as a Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode, Blood Oath. He also took on the role of Jeyal in another Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode, The Muse. He was a trio of different characters- Blue Djinn, King Kamehameha and Biff Jellico- for three episodes of I Dream Of Jeanie. However his longest running role was as the Apache Chief Cochise for the entire run of the series, Broken Arrow.

Casting Ahead:

This episode marks the first appearance of Lord Refa, he will be back more than once.

This is the first appearance of Elric, he won’t appear on the show again, but he will feature prominently in The Passing Of The Techno-Mages: Book I: Casting Shadows, Book II: Summoning Light and Book III: Invoking Darkness.

Warren Tabata is back again as a nameless guard.

Kim Strauss is back, this time as the green Drazi leader.

David L. Crowley is back again as Lou Welch.

Jonathan Chapman makes his second appearance on the show, this time as the talkative green Drazi standing guard outside the Drazi lair.

That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen:

I’m not a fan of the supposed window view in Sheridan’s office, it’s too obvious of a painting.

It’s fairly obvious during Elric’s speech in the Zocalo that he’s reading off of cue cards.

The green Drazi used Ivanova’s link to send a message to security, but based on what we know about links being biologically bonded to its wearer and only useable by said wearer that shouldn’t be possible.

When Garibaldi comes to rescue Ivanova there is a mistake with the Drazi. The Drazi with the reddish suit starts to get up to answer the door but when they cut to the door being opened it’s the other Drazi answering while the one in the Reddish suit is guarding Ivanova.

The Ombuds Have Decided:

At its heart The Geometry Of Shadows is about fleshing out the Babylon 5 universe. It presents us with an interesting look at the, up till this point, in the background Drazi and the mysterious and unknown Techno-Mages. Episodes such as this are important to any TV show, but they are extremely vital to science fiction television. Fans of sci-fi don’t want to only know the main characters or be limited to what is happening in the foreground. Sci-fi fans like their universes to be rich and full. They want to be introduced to characters that they know are extremely powerful and important even if we never see that power or importance demonstrated on screen. Sci-fi fans want to know what’s going on in the background while the giant war is being waged in the foreground. By introducing the Techno-Mages and showing the political strife of the Drazi The Geometry Of Shadows does all of the above. But, simply doing all of the above isn’t good enough. The episode itself has to stand on its own, and The Geometry Of Shadows can. It is humorous when it needs to be, features character moments, great acting, great dialogue and a story that draws you in and allows you to forget that this is an episode solely intended to flesh out the greater Babylon 5 universe. The Geometry Of Shadows is quite an underrated episode of Babylon 5 that is well worth your time.

Vir’s reactions to Refa are most telling and a good bit of acting by Stephen Furst. By his smarmy attitude and haughty demeanor Refa is immediately an unlikable character, but, there is still some doubt. Until Vir with his facial expressions and reactions lets us know that Refa isn’t a good guy in any form.

The humor in The Geometry Of Shadows really works. From Ivanova’s various interactions with the Drazi to Vir falling over dead drunk to Garibaldi’s Acme speech to the Techno-Mage’s haunting of Londo. All of it was funny and most importantly it made me laugh.

Sheridan’s tough guys speech to Elric is a bit forced and doesn’t come of that well. Neither does his ending dialogue about the Techno-Mages as he watched their ship depart, it was a bit too over the top and sappy.

Michael Ansara did a splendid job as Elric, outside of the cue card incident. The way he chose to play Elric is responsible for most of the mystique behind the Techno-Mages. He portrayed Elric as mysterious, aloof and gave the Techno-Mages a very wizard like fantasy quality about them. Without his performance I doubt the Techno-Mages ever would have become quite as popular among Babylon 5 fans as they did.

The Geometry Of Shadows did have one glaring fault, and that was the resolution of the green/purple conflict. It works on the station, but it doesn’t work for the Drazi as a whole. It’s asking an awful lot of the viewer to make the leap that all of the Drazi the galaxy over stopped fighting and killing each other because of something done to a small group of Drazi on Babylon 5. We don’t even know if that was what happened either, because the fighting on the Drazi homeworld is never given any resolution and that does affect later Drazi actions. We don’t even need to see the resolution, a simple line about how Drazi fighting on their home planet has been called off for “insert reason here” would have sufficed. Because that conflict isn’t resolved we are left with an incomplete feeling at the end of the episode. But, it’s a very minor problem in an otherwise fantastic episode.

Rating:

91/100

A-

That’s all for the latest Babylon 5 review, next up we will take a very long and far away look at A Distant Star.

Cheers,
Bill

Previous – 2.02

Next – 2.04

That chick has scales all over her body, so not hot! Wait a minute, the scales are gone, she now has hair and she’s pretty good looking, I approve. Garibaldi’s awake, but based on the crap he’s about to go through for the next four years maybe he should have stayed in that coma. What’s the point of having a secret regime signature hand gesture when you go around showing it to people you tried to kill? Don’t go to the rim appears to be the lesson to be learned from this episode.

Written By: J. Michael Straczynski
Directed By: Jim Johnston

Bare Essentials:

A Plot - G’Kar has found that an ancient force in the galaxy is alive once again on the outer rim. He tries to convince the Ambassadors on Babylon 5 of this, and he dispatches a lone G’Quan Class Heavy Cruiser to scout the ancient enemies home planet and prove that they are back. The Shadows are prepared for their arrival because of Londo’s association with Mr. Morden and destroy the vessel the moment it leaves hyperspace. With no proof the Ambassadors shelve G’Kar’s theories on the returning enemy.

B Plot - Franklin and Sheridan use the alien healing device to revive Garibaldi and with the help of Talia he identifies his shooter as his right hand man, Jack. Garibaldi interrogates Jack and Jack reveals that there are forces at work that Garibaldi can’t even hope to understand. President Clark orders Jack and all evidence related to his case to be sent to Earth immediately, but along the way Jack and all the evidence is whisked away to never be seen again on an EarthForce ship that doesn’t appear on any official registries

C Plot - Captain Sheridan’s sister, Elizabeth, is on station to reconnect with her brother. The Captain reveals he is still reeling from the loss of his wife Anna over two years previous. Elizabeth brings with her a message that Anna left for John before she died and that message helps Sheridan to start to move on with his life.

D Plot - Delenn emerges from her cocoon as a half human/half Minbari hybrid.

More Arc, Less Arch:

Morden’s almost throwaway comment about destroying the Narn homeworld will come true less than a year later in The Long, Twilight Struggle.

The alien healing device makes its first appearance since The Quality Of Mercy. It will be back in a big way in Rising Star and has a minor appearance in Clark’s Law.

G’Quan’s delineations on the Shadows will be brought up again in Ship Of Tears.

Anna Sheridan’s last mission was aboard the science vessel Icarus exploring an unknown planet on the rim. What happened with the Icarus and the planet will be revealed in the episodes In The Shadow Of Z’ha’dum and Z’ha’dum.

G’Kar’s theories on the return of an ancient force that everyone else briskly dismisses will be revealed to be true in the episode In The Shadow Of Z’ha’dum. The planet, Z’ha’dum, he sends the G’Quan Class Heavy Cruiser to investigate will play a huge role in the rest of Babylon 5. Most notably in the episodes In The Shadow Of Z’ha’dum and Z’ha’dum, as well as in the books The Shadow Within and The Passing Of The Techno-Mages: Book II: Summoning Light, and Book III: Invoking Darkness. The fact that the Shadows have Morden tell Londo to notify him of any mention of happenings on the rim shows that they want to stay hidden and are not happy that G’Kar has been poking around their area of space.

The new order that Jack refers to isn’t just Psi Corps, but the entire Clark regime and most notably Nightwatch. This new regime becomes very prominent later in season 2, and all the way up till the end of season 4. Jack’s gesture of a tip of a nonexistent cap and the phrase “I’ll be seeing you” is a clear reference to Bester from Mind War. As Garibaldi later points out this signifies Psi Corps possible involvement in the assassination of President Santiago. He also links this very astutely to Vice President Clark being backed by Psi Corps in an election scandal, that was reported on in And The Sky Full Of Stars, and to his getting off of EarthForce One with the flu shortly before its destruction. All of this will be shown in episodes such as Hunter, Prey, Voices Of Authority, Messages From Earth, Point Of No Return and really hit the boiling point in Severed Dreams.

Who Are You? What Do Yo… Hey, I’m Asking The Questions Here!:

Okay, besides Lennier’s one sided conversation with cocooned Delenn being seven different kinds of creepy and giving me the heebie jeebies, it also doesn’t make much sense. The only other Minbari in history that used a cocoon was Sinclair/Valen and Lennier has no idea about that. This is the first exposure he’s ever had to something like this, how the heck does he know its going to be “soon now”?

Isn’t it just a little bit too much of a coincidence that Sheridan wanders in right as Franklin is about to hook himself up to the machine and work on Garibaldi?

Idiosyncratic Musings:

The fact that G’Kar is willing to set aside his hatred of Londo and the Centauri to confide in Londo about what is happening on the outer rim really stresses how dangerous and powerful the Shadows are. We’ve barely seen them at this point, but little moments like this imprint in our minds the idea that they are a terrible power.

I See What You Did There:

We get a flashback to Chrysalis when Garibaldi was shot in the back.

Say It Again Mac:

This exchange between Londo and Lennier is funny, but the incredulous and matter of fact way that Lennier reacts to Londo’s charge is amazing. Lennier, “Ambassador Delenn remains indisposed.”
Londo, “Indisposed. She’s in a cocoon!”
Lennier, “Yes?”

Another good exchange, Londo, “Why don’t you eliminate the entire Narn homeworld while you’re at it?”
Morden, “One thing at a time, Ambassador. One Thing at a time.”

Lost In Translation:

Elizabeth Sheridan, “She died on a deep space exploration vessel that exploded.” Watch it with that big bad exposition, it’ll poke someone’s eye out.

Lou Welch, “Go ahead, go for it. Make my fraggin’ solar year.” I, uh, I just, there’s really nothing I can say in response to that…

Yes, I Am A Fleet Junkie:

We are introduced to the Shadow’s Spitfire Class Heavy Fighter. The Spitfire is an extremely agile and deadly fighter that is the smallest vessel in known space that is capable of forming its own jump point. The Spitfire can be remote piloted from a Shadow Battle-Crab, but it also can be piloted by a lone internal pilot, although it is unclear whether that pilot is married to its ship like with the Battle-Crab. The Spitfire has the ability to cloak itself and carries an armament of one quantum bolt cannon as well as tractor beams. Like all Shadow vessels it is alive and protected by bio-armor. The Spitfire has the ability to take on any fighter craft from the lesser races and can hold its own with most capital vessels from said races.

The battle between the Frazi and the Spitfire was a bit too melodramatic with the dialogue at the end. But, it did show a Shadow vessel that isn’t indestructible and that can be out run. The Spitfires destroyed the Frazi easily, but we did see a Frazi destroy a lone Spitfire by ramming it and that G’Kar’s Frazi was able to outrun the other Spitfire to the jump gate.

We are treated to the insides of a G’Quan Class Heavy Cruiser. It’s very roomy and large looking. Of course as is the usual it is destroyed after a couple of shots in its “battle” with a Shadow Battle-Crab.

It’s Your Cultural Imperative:

Narn apparently sleep on rock like beds.

I Think This Might Be Based On Something:

When G’Kar tells Na’Toth, “I have looked into the abyss, Na’Toth. You cannot do that and ever be the same again.” he is quoting German philosopher and all around downer Friedrich Nietzsche.

The poem that G’Kar recites to Na’Toth is from The Second Coming by W.B. Yeates. The title Revelations is also taken from the poem.

You Look Mighty Familiar:

Beth Toussaint, Anna Sheridan, portrayed Ishara Yar on the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode Legacy.

Beverly Leech, Elizabeth Sheridan played Rita Allen Poe, the wife of a corrupt scientist, on the episode Gimme, Gimme of Alien Nation. She was Catherine Farrington in the episode Sea Bride – June 3, 1954 of Quantum Leap. Finally, she also played Dayla in the Star Trek: Voyager episode Nightingale.

Mary Kay Adams, Na’Toth, appeared as Grilka on a couple of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episodes.

Casting Ahead:

Mary Kay Adams replaces Julie Caitlin Brown in the role of Na’Toth in this episode. She is a series regular for season 2, but she will only appear a few times.

Mr. Morden is back on Babylon 5.

Garibaldi’s aide, Jack, is back on screen for the final time.

Also on the security front Lou Welch appears again.

President Clark is back on the show, but this is the first time he interacts with anyone on B5, and the only time at that.

Anna Sheridan is seen for the first time, she will be back for a few more eps (with a different actress) and played a prominent role in the novel The Shadows Within.

Michael McKenzie is back again, this time as the navigator on the G’Quan that is destroyed.

James Kiriyama-Lem is back as a nameless med tech in medlab.

That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen:

I’ll discuss this more further down, but the fact that it’s obvious both in the visual and auditory sense that Na’Toth is completely different is a big problem.

The door to G’Kar’s quarters doesn’t close after Na’Toth enters and having to then be ordered shut by Na’Toth for dramatic effect does not jive with how the doors on B5 function. It also makes Na’Toth look like an idiot when she’s straining to read her papers with the light coming in from the open door instead of just turning on a light. Speaking of the doors on B5, the ones where Garibaldi is being held in medlab is quite the magical gaffe. Sometimes they open and close, other times they aren’t even there.

When Sheridan is drinking with his sister in his quarters he finishes his drink, and while he’s walking towards the sink the glass refills and he then has to finish it again.

It doesn’t really affect this episode, but the fact that a different actress plays Anna Sheridan later in the series does hurt the continuity a bit.

The Ombuds Have Decided:

Revelations is an episode that is full of wondrous things. At times it is beautiful in its vision and at other times it is bogged down in errors and clunky dialogue. All the plot points work in Revelations and push the series along as a whole. The acting is superb all around and Revelations delivers enough drama to constitute a well made episode. Revelations does pull you in with its various threads and it holds you tight and makes you care about what is going on. However, there are too many errors and inconsistencies in continuity along with some truly bad dialogue and some things that just didn’t sit right with me (such as the fact that Elizabeth Sheridan is a complete throwaway character) that take you out of the episode. Revelations ends up a good episode, but it could have been so much more.

I’m not a fan of the recasting of Na’Toth. As stated above it is a continuity blunder, the voice is different, the body is different, everything is different about the new Na’Toth. However the main problem with the new Na’Toth is the way Mary Kay Adams chose to play the part. Up until this episode Na’Toth had been strong, assertive and aggressive. But, now she is played as being meek, small and passive. The conversation between Na’Toth and G’Kar in the Zen Garden highlights that distinction perfectly. The old Na’Toth would have stood straight with G’Kar and made it seem like a conversation between peers. The new Na’Toth cowers in the mere presence of G’Kar rending a scared student at the feet of her teacher.

Using big bombastic music that screams “importance and power” to herald the arrival of Sheridan’s sisters shuttle was a very odd choice.

Revelations allows Sheridan to deliver some powerful moments. He shows how blindingly loyal he can be to a man he doesn’t even know when he helps Franklin with Garibaldi. Later he shows how human he is with a scenes full of loss, regret, love and finally acceptance in all of his conversations with his sister, aside from some dodgy exposition from his sister, in their first conversation in his quarters, and his final watching of Anna’s message. Points Of Departure may have been Sheridan’s introduction episode, but Revelations is the episode that brings you closer to him and allows Sheridan to truly become a part of the show.

I love that Garibaldi’s first remark upon meeting Sheridan is, “I don’t know you.” That shows how guarded and defensive Garibaldi is. It also contrasts nicely with Garibaldi’s later interaction with Talia. Garibaldi hates Psi Corp and he doesn’t trust telepaths at all, but he’s willing to allow Talia in his head because he trusts her. For Garibaldi it’s all about trust and those two scenes do a great job of showcasing that fact.

The scenes with reptile Delenn are weird and so out there that they allow you to be completely sideswiped when you find out what she has actually become. No one was expecting a beautiful half human/half Minbari to emerge. We were all expecting some sort of monster, and while some people within the universe think we did get a monster, those of us outside are able to recognize the wonderful job they did of distracting us from what Delenn was actually going to become when she was in reptile mode. This leads into when Delenn is actually revealed, and that scene is handled masterfully as well. The grace that Mira Furlan puts into that moment and the reactions of the other actors when they first see her and the music used give it an aura of being a truly awe inspiring moment.

As much as I love the intensity in the Garibaldi/Jack interrogation scene, what really makes that scene is how it’s shot. The extreme close-ups from odd angles give it a claustrophobic feel while at the same time giving off an old 1950’s crime drama vibe. A wonderful bit of camera work and direction in a scene that is quite masterful.

I don’t like President Clark directly contacting Sheridan about Jack. It’s a bit heavy handed in forcing down the fact that Clark is up to no good and shouldn’t be trusted. An underling of some sort (senate or military) should have been the one to contact Sheridan. As it is it’s a little too obvious in regards to the nature of President Clark when you have him sounding very fake and nervous when talking to Sheridan. Garibaldi’s musings about Clark as well as the later disappearance of Jack and all the evidence were more than enough to let us know that maybe there’s more to Clark than meets the eye, all of that makes his appearance very heavy handed.

I am completely enamored with the fact that in one instant G’Kar has it all figured out. He knows Londo is the leak and he knows the Centauri are in collusion with the ancient force. But, just as quickly as he figures it all out he dismisses it as pure fancy. A brilliant little nugget.

Rating:

81/100

B

Revelations is all done with. Next up we’ll partake in a little wizardry with our purple, or green if that’s your style, in The Geometry Of Shadows.

Cheers,
Bill

Previous – 2.01

Next – 2.03

Everything is going straight to hell! Why is that lady in a cocoon and why is it oozing mysterious fluids? I want to see Keffer die right now, he’s a completely useless character, him and his annoying frock of hair. Just how many inquisitive looks can Ivanova flash at the camera, tune in to find out! As a friendly reminder, if you are a fan of the way the show is progressing and are watching it on DVD, then skip the opening credits for this episode or you will be spoiled, terribly!

Written By: J. Michael Straczynski
Directed By: Janet Greek

Bare Essentials:

A Plot - An exiled Minbari war leader, Kalain, is on board Babylon 5. He sets in motion a plan that brings his ship, the Trigati, to B5 space where they hope to induce another war with the humans. Their plan fails however and the Triagti is destroyed when their fusion reactor explodes following a hit by a fellow Sharlin Class War Cruiser.

B Plot - Commander Sinclair is no more, and Captain John Sheridan has been chosen to take his place as commanding officer on Babylon 5. The Minbari harbor a deep hatred for Sheridan and this hatred is what causes Kalain and the Trigati to move their plan into action. Sheridan diffuses the situation and survives a very interesting first day in charge.

C Plot – The mystery of why the Minbari surrendered at the Battle of the Line is finally revealed. The Minbari captured Jeffrey Sinclair and through the process of torturing him discovered he had a Minbari soul. They examined more humans and found more humans with Minbari souls. Based on this the Minbari now believed their souls were being reborn into human bodies and as such they could not kill any more humans. They surrendered, but they decided not to let anyone outside of the Grey Council know why they were surrendering and this led to the war leader Sineval killing himself while his crew on the Trigati took the ship into exile instead of surrendering.

More Arc, Less Arch:

A very minor arc point, and not even an arc point really, but the crew of the Trigati and their leader Sineval taking his life was first introduced back in the episode Legacies.

Minbari souls being reborn into every generation was touched upon in Soul Hunter. However this is the first time that we are told exactly where those lose souls are going. The revelation that those souls are now being reborn as humans, and specifically Sinclair, was hinted at in And The Sky Full Of Stars as well as the aforementioned Soul Hunter and will be further played out in War Without End, Part 2 and In The Beginning.

The Minbari’s hatred towards Captain Sheridan is prominent throughout the show and is featured heavily in There All The Honor Lies and is only silenced following season 4.

Lennier is talking about the Shadows when he mentions a great enemy that is returning. He’s also referring to Delenn’s transformation that began in Chrysalis and will end in Revelations when he mentions the prophecy about the uniting of the two sides of their spirit.

Idiosyncratic Musings:

Hedronn’s statement to Sheridan about a man “like him” being in power truly showcases the hypocrisy and frankly, the idiocy of the Minbari. Sheridan did what warriors, or soldiers do, he killed in battle. He didn’t slaughter innocents, he didn’t rape or pillage, he killed the enemy before they could kill him. Countless Minbari did the same to humans, and they are undoubtedly in important positions of power. Hedronn’s statement is a combination of xenophobia, hypocrisy and stupidity, traits that are far too common in Minbari and continually show how they are an extremely flawed race.

Sheridan is a drastic change of pace from Sinclair, and acting wise Bruce Boxleitner is a drastic change from Michael O’ Hare. In the show Sheridan is far more straight forward and by the book, he is a classic military leader. He brings more stability to the station, more firmness in his actions, but at the same time he brings more rigidity to the role nor is he anywhere as open to the suggestions of others as Sinclair was. Possibly the biggest difference on screen comes in how the actors decided to portray their respective characters. Sinclair came across as very introspective because O’ Hare played him very laid back, he was more of a thinker. Boxleitner plays Sheridan as a much harder man, he doesn’t think, he acts. Both approaches are valid and it’s interesting to see how both men will handle certain situations the same and other situations completely the opposite.

I See What You Did There:

Jeffrey Sinclair is the first Earth ambassador to be allowed permanent residence on Minbar.

Ivanova previously served with Sheridan on Io.

Sheridan’s fascination with oranges is a character quirk that is very prominent for a few episodes and will then be dropped summarily.

The executive suites and command quarters on Babylon 5 all have functioning water showers, whereas the rest of the quarters use sonic vibe showers.

Sheridan was former President Santiago’s first choice to replace Jeffrey Sinclair if anything ever happened to him.

Sheridan earned the nickname “Starkiller” from the Minbari for his actions in the Earth-Minbari War. His ship was disabled, but he mined the asteroid field between Mars and Jupiter with fusion bombs, sent out a distress signal and destroyed the Minbari flagship the Black Star when it returned to finish Sheridan’s ship off.

At the Battle Of The Line the crew of the Trigati refused to surrender when ordered to do so by the Grey Council. Instead they retreated into exile.

Garibaldi is revealed to be an agnostic, this a very appropriate character trait for him.

Say It Again Mac:

Ivanova, “And as far as I’m concerned, the transports can wait until the sun explodes! And if you’re not happy with the seating arrangements, I will personally order your seats to be moved outside, down the hall, across the station and into the fusion reactor. Am I absolutely, perfectly clear on this?”

Lost In Translation:

Sheridan, “General, with all due respect the last time I made personal contact with a Minbari warship I sent it straight to hell.” Whoa, there tiger, settle down with the 1940’s style bravado why don’t ya.

Yes, I Am A Fleet Junkie:

Points Of Departure offers the first glimpse at an EA Omega Class Destroyer, the Agamemnon in this case. As the show progresses the Omega Class will be the most widely used ship by the EA and will be its real work force. It is in all actuality quite the capital ship, it maintains a crew of 850 and can carry up to 18,000 troops if need be. It has an armament of 6 heavy particle lasers, six heavy pulse cannons, 12 particle lasers, 12 pulse cannons, an array of fusion missiles, and around 18 Mk. II energy projectors. An Omega Class Destroyer houses 36 Starfuries, and it has the ability to carry either Aurora Class Starfury Heavy Fighters or Thunderbolt Class Starfury Heavy Fighters. The Omega can form its own jump point and unlike other EA capital vessels prior to its creation the Omega has the ability to create artificial gravity on board due to its rotating middle section. The Omega Class Destroyer is a very powerful vessel, able to hold its own against any vessel not belonging to a First One or a Minbari Sharlin Class War Cruiser and far more powerful than any war ship found in the secondary races.

This episode features yet another flashback to the Battle of the Line, and as with every instance where we are shown that battle the Minbari forces wax the EA forces all over the screen.

We get to see the Trigati and another unnamed Sharlin Class War Cruiser, but this time they are in action against each other, sort of. The unnamed Sharlin slices through the Trigati with ease and the Trigati is destroyed when it’s fusion reactor explodes. However this really isn’t a good indicator of how this type of battle would go since the Trigati didn’t offer up any fight and wanted to be destroyed.

Babylon 5 uses the EA standard XB7 tracking systems.

It’s Your Cultural Imperative:

One of the aliens yelling at Ivanova in the pre-title sequence is a yet to be described race, the Hyach. The Hyach are a biped humanoid like species that lay claim to the planet of Shir-shraba as their homeworld. The Hyach have tan, bordering on reddish, skin complexion and are easily recognizable by their most prominent feature, their cranium. They have rather normal faces, but they feature a hairless cranium that appears to be two separated bulbous protrusions. The Hyach are a peaceful member of The League Of Non-Aligned Worlds. Despite their peaceful nature the Hyach are considered one of the more advanced and powerful races of the League.

I Think This Might Be Based On Something:

Agamemnon was a Greek King during the Trojan War who was later murdered by his wife. This is a very interesting parallel with B5’s captain and the travails he will endure with his former wife in later episodes. But, the Agamemnon was also a ship in the British Royal Navy that participated in the Battle of Trafalgar.

The speech that Sheridan gives is an abridged version of the speech that US President Abraham Lincoln gave in the annual State of the Union address in 1862.

The lunge club that Ivanova, Franklin and Keffer are in at the end of the episode is Earhart’s. This is of course a homage to famed aviator Amelia Earhart, who was one of the first female aviators to gain any sort of notoriety.

An interesting anecdote is that Captain John Sheridan is a descendant of the real life Union General Philip John Sheridan from the American Civil War.

You Look Mighty Familiar:

Robin Sachs, Hedronn, is a pretty well known genre actor. He voiced the Silver Surfer for a trio of episodes of the mid 1990’s Fantastic Four. He was the dastardly Sarris in the hilarious classic Galaxy Quest. He was also everyone’s favorite evil wizard Ethan Rayne in various episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He portrayed General Valen in the episode The Void of Star Trek: Voyager. He played Hans Dietrich in the episode Nightingale of Alias.

Richard Grove, Kalain, played Colonel Cash in a couple of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman episodes. Fans of the cult classic Army Of Darkness will remember him as Duke Henry the Red.

Robert Foxworth, General Hague, voiced Ratchet in the live action Transformers. He also voiced Professor Emil Hamilton for a bunch of episodes of Justice League. He was Administrator V’Las for a bunch of episodes of Star Trek: Enterprise. He worked with JMS again when he played the role of President Emerson for a couple of episodes of Jeremiah. He was Admiral Leyton for a couple of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episodes. He played Royce Shelton in the Sympathy For The Deep episode of SeaQuest DSV.

Robert Rusler, Lt. Warren Keffer, hasn’t appeared in anything of note, and there is a reason for that more than likely. Genre wise he’s only had two other roles worth mentioning. He played Ron Grady in A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge. He also played Orgoth in the episode Anomaly of Star Trek: Enterprise.

Prior to Babylon 5 Bruce Boxleitner, Captain John Sheridan, was most known for his role as Lee Stetson for the entire run of The Scarecrow And Mrs. King. But, he was most famous for playing Tron in the cult classic futuristic TRON. Other than those roles Boxleitner has built a career out of B movies and westerns and hasn’t done many mainstream projects until recently when he returned to the screen for a couple of episodes of Heroes as Robert Malden.

Casting Ahead:

Captain John Sheridan makes his first appearance, he will remain with the show until the very end.

General Hague makes his first appearance, he will appear in at least one more episode.

This is the first episode for Warren Keffer, he will be a regular cast member for all of season 2.

Kim Strauss first appears in Points of Departure as an unnamed ensign in C&C, he will be back many more times as many different characters.

Robin Sachs plays Hedronn in this episode and he will back quite a few times in different roles.

Michael McKenzie is back again, this time as the Minbari Captain Vastor of the unnamed Minbari Sharlin.

Mark Hendrickson appears once more in the series, this time as one of the Ambassadors hounding Ivanova in the beginning of the episode.

Jonathan Chapman is one of the ambassadors arguing with Ivanova through the Zocalo, and he will be back numerous times as a bunch of different characters.

Jennifer Anglin, who played Deroon in this episode will make a few more appearances on the show.

That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen:

When Sheridan enters Command & Control to give his good luck speech the door stays open behind him. This doesn’t jive with the doors always automatically closing behind people once they’ve entered C&C.

Hedronn’s statement to Kalain that “we don’t harm our own kind, we never have” is seventy different kinds of wrong. We know that the Minbarui fought and killed each other before Valen arrived, and being a Minbari and a member of the Grey Council, Hedronn knows this as well.

Sheridan says that he destroyed the Black Star along with three other Minbari war cruisers. This contradicts In The Beginning where it is shown on screen that only one Minbari war vessel was present, the Black Star, and that is all that Sheridan destroyed.

The Ombuds Have Decided:

Points Of Departure does a great job of introducing Sheridan, but it is nothing more than an introductory episode. There’s no real drama in the episode because you know the Trigati will be thwarted and that they will deliver nothing but idle threats. Still, Points Of Departure does flow nicely, features a very big revelation, the intro of an important character and despite being clunky in spots it is good for what it is, a rather mundane character introduction episode.

Claudia Christian does a tremendous job of acting in the scene where Ivanova’s discussing the impact the death of President Santiago has had on her and the crew with Sheridan. You can feel how distraught she is and her emotion is very real and evident to the viewer. Christian draws you into that scene with her terrific display of vulnerability and at the stoic nature she brings forth at the end.

On the flip side of that is Ivanova’s conversations with Sheridan regarding his destruction of the Black Star. The acting isn’t bad, but it’s a clunky bit of obvious exposition that doesn’t make much sense. Ivanova was stationed with Sheridan before, his destruction of the Black Star was public knowledge and it was documented and shown on video in the military. Ivanova should have known the method he used to destroy them either as a civvie before she joined the military if they did make Sheridan’s method of victory public knowledge. If his method of victory wasn’t public knowledge, then she should have found out when she did join the military, and especially when she was stationed on IO, where old vets would certainly tell the tale and the military itself would make sure its ranks were knowledgeable about their only victory in the war. I’m not willing to say it’s an accident and place it in That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen, but it’s not a part of the show that made sense in any way.

Continuing that thought, there are times in Points Of Departure where the dialogue is quite choice, but there are too many instances where the dialogue is clunky or doesn’t make any sense. Hedronn telling Sheridan that the crew of the Triagti believe they have been betrayed by their own world and by the humans is an example of this. How can someone feel like they have been betrayed by a group of people that were never loyal to them in the first place. Take the humans out of that statement and it works perfectly fine, but with them in it that statement is a mess of nonsense. In the same conversation Hedronn tells Sheridan that he would answer one of his questions if he recognized Sheridan’s authority. Hedronn has gone to Sheridan to get him to use his authority to capture and detain Kalain, so clearly he recognizes his authority. There are far too many cases of this type of bad, illogical and downright bad dialogue in Points Of Departure.

The huge revelation scene about Minbari souls is hurt somewhat by the awkwardness in the acting. Ivanova and Sheridan provide facial expressions and mannerisms that don’t fit with what they are being told. They are almost blasé about it, not showing any emotion at all and treating this news like it’s old hat. That ruins the effect the big revelation is supposed to have on the audience, because we are experiencing it through Sheridan and Ivanova. They should have either been shocked or acted like it was the most ridiculous thing they’ve ever heard, but instead we were given two people acting like they were in the middle of a boring conference meeting.

I find it incredulous that Babylon 5 would use the same tracking system ten years after the Earth-Minbari War. When you combine the general progression of technology with the boom that war gives to technological innovation it is completely implausible that ten years after the war a high level military station like Babylon 5 would still be using such an antiquated tracking system. It’s not even an issue of them now being technologically advanced enough to track the Minbari, they shouldn’t be, but they should be using more advanced tracking systems than what they used in the war.

I’m not a fan in any way of Keffer being buddy buddy with Ivanova and Franklin right off the bat. It’s been established that Ivanova, Garibaldi and now Franklin are a very tight knit group. People aren’t immediately introduced into their group, you have to work in order to gain their trust and gain entry, as was seen last season with Franklin and will be seen with Zack Allen when he joins the show. I understand that Keffer was a character foisted upon the show by the network, but they could have introduced him to the show without having to include a scene where he appears to be part of the inner group. This will never be touched upon again, because he is a character that isn’t relevant to the core group, and that’s why he should have been introduced as a periphery character instead of shown hanging out with Ivanova and Franklin.

Rating:

79/100

B-

That’s all for the first episode of season 2, my next entry will be all about Revelations.

Cheers,
Bill

Previous – Season 1 (1994)

Next – 2.02

Just as a note, I only watch foreign movies in their natural language with subtitles, and so should you. If you aren’t doing that then you need to correct yourself! Also, I use the foreign title as the main title, but I do put the English title in parentheses so that those not aware of the movies actual title will know what I’m talking about. I will also refer to shows by their English title when listing what other shows the actors have appeared in to avoid all kinds of confusion from the Gringos. Now that all the pleasantries are out of the way, bring on your devils, your ninjas and your hot naked Japanese chicks! Also bring on your exploding dead bodies and weird electrical wires, but don’t bring your hot molten gold, that will get you nothing but scorn!

Written By: Yoshiaki Kawajiri
Directed By: Yoshiaki Kawajiri

Bare Essentials:

A Plot – Kibagami Jubei is a roaming ninja who was once betrayed by his clan and was forced to kill his own leader. Years later he is drawn into a conflict between the Tokugawa Shogunate and the Toyotomi Clan that reveals his old leader, Gemma Himuro, somehow survived the beheading he received at the hands of Jubei. Not only did Gemma survive, but he is now the leader of the Eight Devils of Kimon, powerful and mystical assassins that do his bidding. Jubei is helped by a female ninja from the Mochizuki Clan and from the old trickster Dakuan from the Tokugawa Shogunate. Although unwilling partners they manage to topple the Eight Devils of Kimon, until the only one left alive is Gemma and he is killed in a titular battle with Jubei.

B Plot - The Eight Devils of Kimon are delivering a shipment of gold to the Toyotomi Clan, but the last two remaining Devils, Gemma and Zakuro, reveal to the Toyotomi that they plan to keep the gold for themselves and build an unstoppable ninja army to rule all of Japan. Their plan is stopped by the arrival of Jubei and Dakuan, who together sink the ship of gold to the bottom of the river and kill Lord Gemma.

C Plot - The female, kuniochi, ninja Kagero is the only surviving member of her ninja troupe, the Koga. She served the Mochizuki clan as a poison tester, and as a result her body was riddled with poisons and could not be touched by any other person. Because of that she has never known true love, but she eventually finds true love in the form of Kibagami Jubei, whom she saves from a poison inflicted upon him by Dakuan before she dies from wounds sustained at the hands of Lord Gemma.

D Plot - Jubei has been poisoned by a member of the Tokugawa Shogunate, Dakuan. To ensure that he will help the Shogunate end the machinations of the Eight Devils of Kimon and the Toyotomi Clan, Dakuan has promised Jubei an antidote to the toxin at the end of their journey. Jubei finds the antidote in the form of the kuniochi ninja Kagero, and leaves Dakuan behind after killing Lord Gemma and stopping the Eight Devils Of Kimon.

Idiosyncratic Musings:

Jubei Ninpucho is a film that is true to its time and in being truthful it must keep a faithful portrayal of its female characters. All the women in Jubei Ninpucho are shown to be powerful in their own right, but at the same time they are shown to be the objects of men and beneath men. Some people would view this as somehow being wrong and unjust, but the reality is that the women are where they need to be in Jubei Ninpucho. The story takes place in feudal Japan and as such you can’t take present day views & values and try to apply them to a story from the past. The women were objectified by men, they were viewed as being beneath men, and they were willing to capitulate and take a back seat to men. Jubei Ninpucho manages to create cool and interesting female characters while staying true to the roots of its time period.

Another area of interest in Jubei Ninpucho is how it wants to appeal to humanities carnal side. Jubei Ninpucho doesn’t pull any punches and is over the top with violence because it wants to appeal to the people that are interested in graphic brutality. Undoubtedly there are people that seek out and crave that brutality in a very real world sense. But, there are also people that are interested in violence and brutality in a pure entertainment sense. They enjoy watching over the top violence and brutality on film, on TV, in video games, and Jubei Ninpucho appeals to that type of person. Jubei Ninpucho goes out of its way to present stylized and brutal violence because it wants to enthrall the viewer with said violence.

I think This Might Be Based On Something:

Jubei Ninpucho is a homage to the Ninpocho series of Ninja novels by Futaro Yamada.

The character of Kibagami Jubei is based on the Japanese folk samurai hero of legend, Yagyu Jubei.

Jubei Ninpucho plays on various Japanese legends and archetypes, most notably the characters of Tessai and Utsutsu Mujuro. Tessai is based on the stone golem of Japanese legend, while Mujuro is based on the classic Japanese archetype of the blind swordsman.

You Look Might Familiar:

Koichi Yamadera, Kibagami Jubei, voiced the character of Togusa in the Ghost In The Shell franchise. He also most famously voiced Spike Spiegel in the excellent series Cowboy Bebop and Cowboy Bebop: The Movie.

Emi Shinohara, Kagero, voiced Sailor Jupiter in various incarnations of the Sailor Moon series.

Final Ticket:

Jubei Ninpucho exists and thrives in a very dark place. It lives and breathes in the dark of demons and humanity. It is grounded, interestingly enough, by the fantastic abilities of the human heroes, who aren’t actually heroes at all. Jubei Ninpucho’s world is a fantastic one, but it is one that is completely believable. There aren’t any moments where you doubt the blind swordsman or the reptile lady, you buy into them completely. The relationships are short and terse on both sides of the coin, as are all of the conversations. There aren’t any gray areas in what people want or how they treat each other. Every action and reaction is straight forward and to the point. This brings us back to the darkness that Jubei Ninpucho bathes in. Jubei Ninpucho drips with this darkness, it permeates every scene, every line of dialogue, every bit of animation, every death, every moment in the movie. The only thing that separates the good from the bad is the idea of honor that the “good guys” extol. Jubei Ninpucho isn’t a movie for the faint of heart, it is violent, it is barbaric, but most of all it touches a very dark place inside all of us. It is a movie drenched in evil and horror, but it is a very good movie that everyone should see.

The animation in Jubei Ninpucho is simply stunning. There isn’t a moment in the film where anything appears clean or bright. Every cell is dirty, grimy and even during scenes in the middle of the day there is dark around the edges of everything. There’s a very late eighties feel to the animation. The eyes are small, the bodies are realistic and there’s a simplicity to all the line and textures. Sometimes animation can be clunky or distracting, but that’s not the case with Jubei Ninpucho. In Jubei Ninpucho the animation is some of the best you will ever find.

The only real knock against Jubei Ninpucho is its plot. At times it is simplistic and it works quite well. Other times the plot becomes very muddied and is hard to follow. When the plot becomes muddied the flow of the movie really suffers and it takes a little bit of time for the movie to get back on track and into a good rhythm every time this happens. Luckily the problems with the plot only happen a few times and don’t do any major damage to the film.

Finally, I would be remiss in not mentioning the two coolest aspects of Jubei Ninpucho, the characters and the music. The characters are larger than life and mesmerizing in their abilities. But, they’re also very real. They use strategy when in battle or when laying out their plans for the battle to come. Jubei is even extremely lucky, he succeeds more than once on pure luck as opposed to any abilities he may have. For as fantastic as all the characters may be, we can relate to the “heroes” because of how grounded in reality they are. The music may even supercede the characters when it comes to coolness. The music is foreboding, tense, thrilling, everything you could ask for from a movie score. The animation creates a certain atmosphere and tone for the movie, but that atmosphere only comes to life and that tone is only set when the music brings them both to life. The characters and music not only help Jubei Ninpucho to be a good movie, they make it a cool movie.

Rating:

88/100

B+

That ends our romp with demons and ninjas. Next time we’ll be back to Vorlons and Shadows as I kick off the second season of Babylon 5 with Points Of Departure.

Cheers,
Bill

Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, I swear to the almighty Odin if that dude says Rob one more time I’m going to skip punching him in the junk and punch right through his junk! Here’s the deal, if this scenario happens to me I forgo going after Beth and instead put all my attention into the far better endowed Lily, lot less danger and better to look at! Also, chicks bleeding from their eye and nose and then blowing up, not all that hot, but Hud still would have went for it.

Written By: Drew Goddard
Directed By: Matt Reeves

Bare Essentials:

A Plot – Rob Hawkins is in the middle of receiving a going away party and next thing he knows the parties been broken up by a giant monster attack on New York. After watching his brother die Rob sets out on a mission to find and rescue his long time friend and current jilted lover, Beth. To that end he treks through a war torn New York with a group of friends in search of Beth. Much to his surprise he finds Beth and she’s alive, but all does not go well for his intrepid little group as over time the creature or smaller creatures kill them off (except for Lily who escapes to possible safety in a helicopter) until the only ones left are Rob and Beth. They profess their love for one another as the armed force carpet bomb the city in a last ditch effort to kill the creature and the screen fades to black…

B Plot - 1) A mysterious creature has arrived in New York City and is running roughshod over the city and its inhabitants. The military continues to throw everything they have at the creature, but nothing seems to stop it. As a last ditch attempt to kill it the military enacts the Hammer Down protocol, New York is declared a lost area and it is carpet bombed. But as the last garbled voice on the screen reveals, they failed and the creature is still alive even after the destruction of New York. 2) Parasitic like creatures are falling off of the creature and attacking the citizens of New York. It is unclear whether they intend simply to kill or have other motives. Once they bite their victim he/she becomes infected and after a time they explode internally.

Idiosyncratic Musings:

Being a straight forward journey film there isn’t much depth to Cloverfield in regards to morality plays or philosophical ideas. One could argue that the monster represents our abuse of nature coming back to get us, it is implied that its existence was somehow triggered or that it was brought to the surface by an oil tanker capsizing, but I’m not the one to argue that because I didn’t get that feeling from Cloverfield at all.

The only real message that Cloverfield gets across is an age old one, and that is the ideal that even at the worst of times we are driven by our closest relationships. Human beings are at their best when they are driven to protect, find, or ensure a person they hold as dear to them is not in dire straits. That is a pretty simple ideal, and because of that Cloverfield doesn’t have to go into any depth at all to deliver said message.

I Think This Might be Based on Something:

It’s fairly obvious that Cloverfield owes its existence to the well known Godzilla series of movies. While quite different than the Godzilla franchise, Cloverfield is still the same giant sea monster concept brought to the big screen.

You Look Mighty Familiar:

Chris Mulkey, Lt. Col. Graff (the man in charge of the military forces the group meets when they come out of the subway) played Hank Jennings for a series of episodes of Twin Peaks. He also voiced the villain of sound, Shriek, for a bunch of Batman Beyond episodes.

Pavel Lychnikoff, Russian Man on Street, was the dude talking to Hud whom Hud couldn’t understand. But, he played the telegraph operator, Blazanov, for the entire run of the awesome Deadwood.

Jason Cebrone, Police Officer, was the cop telling the group to keep it moving once the chaos first started. He played Jackie Aprile Jr. for a bunch of episodes of The Sopranos.

Mike Vogel, Jason Hawkins, was Andy in the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, he was the one held up by a meat hook.

Lizzy Caplan, Marlena, played Avery Bishop for a number of Tru Calling episodes. She also was Tina Greer for Fra few Smallville episodes as well as Sara for some episodes of the criminally cut short Freaks And Geeks.

Final Ticket:

If ever there was a movie that suffered from genre confusion, Cloverfield is that movie. Cloverfield knows exactly what type of movie it is, but for some reason most people that saw Cloverfield couldn’t figure out what type of movie they were watching. People wanted a creature feature and when they received something completely different they reacted badly. But, truth be told Cloverfield is a well crafted journey movie. The creature isn’t the focus, but rather the focus falls on a group of young New Yorkers and their quest to get to their friend. Cloverfield delivers a very good journey movie with outstanding visuals of a deserted and damaged city and most importantly brief glimpses of  the creature & encounters with its bug like parasites that create plenty of action filled suspense. If you are looking for a creature feature then Cloverfield is not for you, but if you want to check out a suspenseful ruined cityscape story that is well done then I would definitely recommend Cloverfield.

For as enjoyable and good as I found Cloverfield to be it isn’t a movie without faults. Firstly, and most prevalent, is the moving shaky camera style. It worked for me and I thought it really helped with the atmosphere, tone and realism of the movie. But, I can understand why it would bother some people. It can be a bit overbearing and take too much precedence over what is happening with the characters. It can also be a bit nauseating if you have trouble with non-stop motion and shaky movements. Finally, it does require a bit of disbelief in regards to someone continuing to film all the events that take place. I buy it because every day on YouTube I see videos where people should not have kept filming in any way, but they did. As much as I bought it, it is perfectly understandable if other people didn’t buy it and couldn’t get beyond that facet of Cloverfield.

The only real problem I had with Cloverfield were a few of the illogical and over the top sequences that brought the movie down quite a bit in my eyes. I could suspend my disbelief for most of the out of this world moments in Cloverfield, but I have a problem with a group of people surviving some of the scenarios that these people did. First we have Marlena, who after being attacked by the bug creature suffers giant puncture wounds all along her shoulder and back. These puncture wounds were deep and she should have been dead because of the massive blood loss, but she’s still walking along as if she’s fine. That leads to Beth, who has a piece of rebar through her shoulder when the group finds her. The group removes the rebar, and somehow she doesn’t bleed to death. Even after she starts running around and traverses down fifty seven flights of stars and her blood is really pumping with adrenaline she is still alive and hasn’t lost every drop of blood in her body. Lastly there is the helicopter crash. No way would three people survive a crash from that height almost completely unscathed and ready to trudge on in their journey home. There’s also the ridiculousness of a skyscraper sized monster somehow sneaking up behind Hud undetected. But, that didn’t bother me that much since it seemed more like a homage to old creature features than anything else.

What helps Cloverfield the most is the tremendous job it does of creating desolate visuals, desperate human interaction and a palpable sense of fear and suspense in a compact time frame. The visuals are amazing, there is chaos and destruction everywhere and when they go to parts of the city where they are all alone the visuals provide a stark and lonely feel that imbeds the idea in your mind that these people are all alone and in way over their heads. This also plays out in the interactions within the group and with others as their journey progresses. With each passing moment the group has less and less human interaction and when they do it is chaotic and beyond their ability to control. The fact that all the visuals of other people and the various creatures are supplied in quick snapshots adds to the sense of fear and suspense that permeates the picture. You never get a solid idea of what the monster is or what its capable of and that only seems to add to the unknown fear that is throughout the film. The fact that the camera never focuses on one person outside of the group for longer than a few passing seconds keeps them outside of your frame of reference and instills into your mind the fact that the group is all alone and none of the outside people can help. All of these thematic elements combine with a short running time to create a feeling of quickness, you fear what is happening and don’t know what will happen next because the group is all alone and everything appears to be happening so fast when it actually isn’t. Cloverfield excels in a thematic and visual sense and it never lets up.

Rating:

82/100

B

That wraps up our creature feature this time out. When next the twains shall meet ninjas, monsters, demons and hot poisoned chicks will be the course of the day in Jubei Ninpucho.

Cheers,
Bill

Lady Jaye is wrapped up by some tentacles, hentai fanboys the world over sooo wish that scene would have gone in a different direction! I refuse to acknowledge this as the end of Cobra Commander, he’s still the man in my eyes. On that front Serpentor can go jump off a cliff for all I care, this I do command! This is a nostalgia trip that is well worth it, although I have heard from a certain reliable source that it’s much better when you take a different kind of trip at the same time.

Written By: Ron Friedman
Directed By: Don Jurwich

Bare Essentials:

A Plot - Cobra’s on the go again, but this time they aren’t the ones pulling the strings. The ancient race of Cobra-La have revealed themselves as the ones responsible for sending Cobra Commander out into the world to lead Cobra and for the creation of Serpentor. They have a plan that will unleash a spore based virus into the human populace and reduce them to mindless monsters. Along with the forces of Cobra, they steal the Broadcast Energy Transmitter to facilitate this plan, but their plan is thwarted by G.I. Joe resulting in their remaining land being ravaged, two of their prominent leaders in Pythona and Nemesis Enforcer apparently dead and their leader Golobulus fleeing for safety.

B Plot - Cobra Commander has had it, he wants Serpentor gone and he wants to be in charge of Cobra yet again. To this end he allows G.I. Joe to capture Serpentor and flees with the remaining Cobra forces to the Himalayan Mountains. Once there he seeks sanctuary in his old home of Cobra-La. They however now hold Cobra Commander in contempt and view Serpentor as the rightful ruler of Cobra. They rescue Serpentor from the Joe forces and hold a trial where they find Cobra Commander guilty of failure. As punishment Cobra Commander is subjected to the same spores they plan to unleash upon humanity and he slowly regresses until Cobra Commander is no more and is replaced by a common snake.

C Plot - Lt. Falcon is seeking to become a member of G.I. Joe, but he’s a very reckless and insubordinate soldier. He is constantly at odds with his half-brother Duke and continually messes up and eventually costs the Joes dearly when his dereliction of duty allows for the escape of Serpentor. He is given one last chance to shape up and is sent to train at the Slaughterhouse. While under the guidance of Sgt. Slaughter he does become a better soldier but he is forced to watch as his brother saves him from being struck by one of Serpentor’s snakes and falls into a coma as a result. In the final battle against Cobra-La Falcon redeems himself by defeating Serpentor, and using the BET to stop the spores from being unleashed upon humanity. He also learns that Duke has awoken from his coma.

Idiosyncratic Musings:

It’s true that there isn’t much depth to G.I. Joe: The Movie and as such there isn’t much to muse about. But, there is one area where G.I. Joe: The Movie shows some depth, art direction. G.I. Joe: The Movie is a product of its era, the 1980’s. The 80’s were a decade full of glamour and glitz with a lot of decadence, but they were also an era full of dirt, grime, and roughness. The action in G.I. Joe: The Movie is way over the top to play into the glamour and glitz of the era, but the animation, while good, is a little rough around the edges. This casts all the over the top action in a bit of a dark light, making sure that we get to see the grime and the grit of the 80’s to go along with all the decadence. Whether this was by design or a simple by product of a cheaper animation style I don’t know, but it works.

I Think This Might be Based On Something:

The entire G.I. Joe: The Movie cast is of course based on the action figures and cartoon series of the same name. Of course that is based on the classic G.I. Joe figures of the 60’s that were made to represent the dough boy soldiers of the 1945 film, The Story Of G.I. Joe.

The denizens of Cobra-La are very obviously inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft, and do have a very Cthulu like quality about them.

The non-death of Duke isn’t based on anything per say, but the fact that he ends up in a coma and doesn’t die is a direct result of Transformers: The Movie. There was such a fan backlash against the death of Optimus Prime in that movie that the producers of G.I. Joe: The Movie caved in to peer pressure and their desire to sell more action figures and changed that scene from Duke’s death to him merely being in a coma.

You Look Mighty Familiar:

Frank Welker, Torch/Wild Bill/Order, is an extremely famous voice actor. He was the voice of Fred “Freddie” Jones in countless episodes of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!, The New Scooby-Doo Movies, Scooby-Doo And Scrappy-Doo, The Richie Rich/Scooby-Doo Show and so many more. For the most popular TV series of G.I. Joe he voiced Wild Bill, Rock ‘n Roll, Torch, Timber, Copperhead, Junkyard, Freedom and Short Fuse. He voiced Bigtime Beagle in DuckTales. If you ever wondered who supplied the voices for Razhar and Tokka in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze, it would be Frank Welker. You can also give him credit for Abu the Monkey in Aladdin. He supplied the voices of Shao Kahn and Goro in the live action Mortal Kombat. He was Batman Beyond’s Ace the Bathound. Nibble from Futurama was Frank Welker. In Transformers: The Movie he voiced Megatron, Soundwave, Rumble, Frenzy, Laserbeak, Wheelie and Junkion. In Transformers: G1 he became the voice that everyone knew as Megatron, but he also voiced Soundwave, Laserbeak, Sludge, Ravage, Rumble, Skywarp, Trailbreaker, Chromedome, Frenzy, Galvatron, Wheelie and others. There’s a lot more, but you get the point, the man has voiced so many famous roles.

Sgt. Slaughter, real name Bob Remus, is most famous for his long pro wrestling career.

Burgess Meredith, Golobulus, is most famous as Mickey Goldmill, Rocky Balboa’s trainer in Rocky, Rocky II, and Rocky III. He was also The Penguin in a number of episodes of the very campy Batman and Batman: The Movie.

Chris Latta, Cobra Commander/Gung-Ho/Ripper/Televiper #1, was two characters. Every kid and their mother from the 1980’s can instantly recognize him as Cobra Commander from G.I. Joe (he also voiced Ripper and Gung-Ho) and as Starscream from Transformers G1 (he also voiced Wheeljack, Skullcruncher and Sparkplug Witwicky). He was also the original voice of Montgomery Burns on The Simpsons before he was replaced after only three episodes.

Peter Cullen, Zandar/Nemesis Enforcer/Scientist, is famous the world over as the voice of Optimus Prime from Transformers G1 and Tranformers: The Movie and the live action Transformers, but he also voiced the popular Ironhide as well.

Corey Burton, Tomax, voiced Spike Witwicky, as well as Brawn, Shockwave and Sunstreaker in Transformers G1 and Transformers: The Movie. Years later he would return to voice Shockwave as well as Ratchet, Ironhide and Megatron in Transformers: Animated. He voiced the character of Tomax for the entire run of G.I. Joe. He was Dale in Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers. He voiced Brainiac in multiple episodes of Superman: The Animated Series and Justice League. He voiced both San Hill and Count Dooku in Star Wars: Clone Wars Volume One and Two.

That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen:

There are a lot of moments that could go into this section, but most of them fit well within the over the top and implausible nature of G.I. Joe: The Movie. However one minor mistake that happens on a few different occasions does belong here, and that is bad post production voice dubbing. There are a few different scenes where you can tell that the voice they dubbed in does not in any way match the original voice actor, this is most evident with Sgt. Slaughter, especially in the attack on Cobra-La when he yells for everyone to cross the bug bridge.

There are also a few times when they get very lazy with the animation and the depth or spatial difference is way off, like how Cobra Commander goes from being a really long snake to a very short one when he battles one of Serpentor’s snakes.

There is one major continuity mistake, and this is the origin of Cobra Commander. It had already been shown in the TV series proper that Cobra Commander was Caucasian and he had talked before about his days as a youth in a military academy. This completely goes against the young noble man from Cobra-La with blue skin that G.I. Joe: The Movie gives us.

Final Ticket:

The opening credit scene starts the movie with a blast and it never looks back. It’s easily the best battle ever put on screen between Cobra and G.I. Joe. All the major players are present, the music is pounding, the action is choice, and you are immediately drawn into the movie. This was without a doubt the perfect way to start the movie.

A big strength of G.I. Joe: The Movie and something that is oft overlooked in any animated venture is the voice acting. These are professional voice actors and it shows in their performances. They hit all the right marks and inflict all the emotion and intensity that is needed for the characters to come alive on screen. Their work helps to ensure that the animation doesn’t have to stand on its own. Not that there was anything bad about the animation, but without the splendid voice work the animation wouldn’t be able to come anywhere near connecting with the viewer.

The biggest complaint usually lobbied against G.I. Joe: The Movie is the introduction of Cobra-La and the characters of Nemesis Enforcer, Golobulus, Pythona and the Royal Guard. I have no problem with Cobra-La and really liked the characters that were introduced as a result of their creation. It all boils down to the fact that they were a cool idea that was executed nicely and they ended up looking very interesting with interesting abilities and back story. I wasn’t a fan of how they upstaged Cobra and made Cobra Commander into even more of a wuss, but that’s always been a problem with the TV series compared to the comic books. It may have affected the franchise as a whole, but in this one movie alone Cobra-La worked well and were an interesting addition.

The only major flaw from a thematic sense in G.I. Joe: The Movie is the non-death of Duke. While I understand their reasons for not killing him as outlined above, it does hurt the film. It feels very cheap and dissatisfying that he lives. The entire purpose of the scene where he ends up in a coma was to give him a valiant death, to show that the movie would be more real than the cartoon. But, instead they left him in a coma and that is a big knock against the film and takes it down quite a few pegs.

G.I. Joe: The Movie is an extremely fun movie. The plot is thin and that’s exactly what it needs to be for the type of movie that G.I. Joe: The Movie wants to be. From the beginning it flows from scene to scene with over exaggerated action, heroics and melodrama. That is where G.I. Joe: The Movie is at its strongest, when it drops any pretense of being serious or grounded in reality and plays into a strict good versus evil, black and white, stereotypical world of the action hero. Some movies are arch and over the top and they suffer because of that, but that’s not the case with G.I. Joe: The Movie. This is a movie that must be arch and over the top with unbelievable gadgets, incomprehensible villains and implausible actions. Because G.I. Joe: The Movie plays up and into all of its strengths it ends up being a good movie and a blast to watch.

Rating:

75/100

B-

That’s it for the trip down nostalgia lane, and next time we will amp it up a little bit with a review of a very controversial movie, Cloverfield.