Soul Mates

I don’t care what other people say, but when I get a profile of you from the side and you look like a caveman with a Jay Leno type jaw line, then no, you aren’t hot Mariel, in any way. Personally, if I’m in Psi Corps and they are arranging a marriage with someone like Talia I’m never complaining, but it could be some ugly chick like what happened to Londo. Is Talia really worth the chance that you could get an uggo as well, sure, why not. Finally, it must be hard for Keith Szarabajka to get work where he’s not the bad guy. His voice is just not a good guy voice, and I’ve never seen him in anything where hew wasn’t the bad guy.

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The Long Dark

Franklin is back in pimp mode, but this time he’s shot down. This is not a moment that will be highlighted in Franklin’s Guide On Being The Ultimate Pimp! Are the pale colored Drazi the same as an albino human, because that sucks for them if that’s the case. What’s the deal with all the yelling and running around, Amis needs to chill man, just chill. Speaking of needing to chill, maybe the Soldier of Darkness just need to take a nice relaxing vacation, maybe that would stop him from eating everyone’s organs.

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A Distant Star

That’s quite possibly the lamest “Yes, Sir!” I’ve ever heard. I don’t know how things work in EarthForce, but you can get shot for that sort of stuff around these parts. Sweet boots Captain Maynard, all white and spiffy, me likey! If only Keffer hadn’t of found his way back to the station, I’d be a very happy man. I’d also be willing to explore Ivanova’s expanding Russian borders at a moment’s notice, I’m free for that sort of exploratory mission.

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The Geometry Of Shadows

Magic is everywhere, Vir is really sacred, not of the Techno-Mages mind you, but of Londo. Can you blame him, a few drinks in Londo and who knows what will happen? For all he knows Vir could wake up the next morning married to a Drazi and be none the wiser for why he’s in that pickle. Sheridan’s a bit pushy, dude back off, I have a dragon in my pocket, and it’s not the puff-puff type. I’m a green guy myself, but I’m all about love, not war, so I know how I would end any color related conflicts.

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Revelations

That chick has scales all over her body, so not hot! Wait a minute, the scales are gone, she now has hair and she’s pretty good looking, I approve. Garibaldi’s awake, but based on the crap he’s about to go through for the next four years maybe he should have stayed in that coma. What’s the point of having a secret regime signature hand gesture when you go around showing it to people you tried to kill? Don’t go to the rim appears to be the lesson to be learned from this episode.

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Points Of Departure

Everything is going straight to hell! Why is that lady in a cocoon and why is it oozing mysterious fluids? I want to see Keffer die right now, he’s a completely useless character, him and his annoying frock of hair. Just how many inquisitive looks can Ivanova flash at the camera, tune in to find out! As a friendly reminder, if you are a fan of the way the show is progressing and are watching it on DVD, then skip the opening credits for this episode or you will be spoiled, terribly!

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Just as a note, I only watch foreign movies in their natural language with subtitles, and so should you. If you aren’t doing that then you need to correct yourself! Also, I use the foreign title as the main title, but I do put the English title in parentheses so that those not aware of the movies actual title will know what I’m talking about. I will also refer to shows by their English title when listing what other shows the actors have appeared in to avoid all kinds of confusion from the Gringos. Now that all the pleasantries are out of the way, bring on your devils, your ninjas and your hot naked Japanese chicks! Also bring on your exploding dead bodies and weird electrical wires, but don’t bring your hot molten gold, that will get you nothing but scorn!

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Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, I swear to the almighty Odin if that dude says Rob one more time I’m going to skip punching him in the junk and punch right through his junk! Here’s the deal, if this scenario happens to me I forgo going after Beth and instead put all my attention into the far better endowed Lily, lot less danger and better to look at! Also, chicks bleeding from their eye and nose and then blowing up, not all that hot, but Hud still would have went for it.

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Lady Jaye is wrapped up by some tentacles, hentai fanboys the world over sooo wish that scene would have gone in a different direction! I refuse to acknowledge this as the end of Cobra Commander, he’s still the man in my eyes. On that front Serpentor can go jump off a cliff for all I care, this I do command! This is a nostalgia trip that is well worth it, although I have heard from a certain reliable source that it’s much better when you take a different kind of trip at the same time.

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Fairy tales, witches, fallen stars and sex, oh my! I wish a star that hot could fall down by my town, it would certainly be better than most of the alternatives. Keeping with the hot theme, for a 40 year old chick Michelle Pfeiffer still has it going on. Well, at least she does in the middle of the movie, not at the beginning or the end when she’s all old and nasty. But hey, if that’s your thing that’s a-ok by me. Now, if only I could find some magical chain that would ensnare some beautiful lass, but I’ll settle for the flying boat if push comes to shove!

TO READ MORE SEE THE STARDUST ENTRY HERE AND SCROLL PAST PAUL TALON’S REVIEW! (continue reading…)