Signs And Portents

Space battles everywhere and whoa momma did that big black ship just pulverize that other ship! I would love to have the visions as long as I didn’t have to lose what little hair I have left in order to attain them. That Morden is a dreamy dude, I would so sell out the rest of the galaxy for him. Lord Kiro on the other hand is not so much on the dreamy end and a wee bit too moody for my tastes.

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By Any Means Necessary

Cheesy puns ahoy matey! Sinclair appears to be a bit stubbly, maybe it’s the beginnings of a sympathy Stanley Cup playoff beard? Garibaldi so wants to shag Connelly, he just doesn’t know it. Speaking of barbarians, the one dock worker with the weird beard and caveman like forehead certainly reminds me of a caveman.

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Survivors

Drazi ninjas own your soul! I wish being an alcoholic was so easy to handle, I’d drink all the damn time if that were the case. Liana Kemmer makes me want to do things, naughty things, to her. Ya know, I really have run out of witty things to say. I don’t know what to say anymore, this episode left me that flat, man I’m almost as pathetic as this episode was, but not quite.

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Believers

I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky… Oh, that’s not what this episode is about, damn! I wish I could skirt authority as much as Franklin does. I skirt the authority here and Paul breaks my leg or some other appendage. If only today’s sci-fi on TV could be as daring and challenging as this episode. But, that’s alright, we all have the next episode of that zany and wacky Flash Gordon to look forward to! Stare inside the insides of Shon on a computer screen and find yourself transported to a classic Contra level, wicked rad!

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Deathwalker

Immortality is cool, until you realize that your wife also took the immortality serum and will be asking you if she looks fat for all of eternity. One hope I do have is that if I take an immortality serum I can as a Cubs fan finally see them win the World Series about 200 years from now. Of course after all that time I still won’t know what the heck Kosh is saying half the time, but you win some you lose some.

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And The Sky Full Of Stars

Those gray robes do look pretty cool actually. Not that I could pull it off, I could never get the hood right, but they do look cool. If people are randomly switching from Minbari to human and then back again I would like some advanced warning before I step foot in the corridor. Gambling debts are not good today and still aren’t in the future, that’s why I don’t gamble. Well, that and the fear of losing money at an exponential rate because I’m a dope.

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The War Prayer

Branding is not fun, unless it involves a hot girl and plenty of whiskey! Ivanova is easy, I mean, really, really easy, and I’m down with that. Sinclair gets all in a tizzy about anti-Aliens and Garibaldi has to run for cover as the spittle comes flying his way. What’s the point of super neato camouflage generators if you turn them off all the time? Londo, if your shoes are so fricking tight, then just loosen them up man!

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Mind War

Andrea Thompson is hot sauce on a stick. Dude just went and got all glowy, that can’t be good, can it? What in the name of all heck is Chekov doing on my space station? Did I mention that Andrea Thompson is all kinds of hot? If I show up at a planet and a giant glowing spruce decides to suck the energy out of my ship I might crap my pants on the spot. Who knew entering a transport tube tunnel could be so hot? Speaking of hot, did I mention that Andrea Thompson is hot?

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The Parliament Of Dreams

G’Kar is going crazy and I love it! Londo is drunk and that can only mean hijinks and hilarity for all involved. I know for a fact that I am not stunning in purple, now pink on the other hand is a whole nother story. Michael O’ Hare shows us all how to woo a woman while showing next to no emotion at all, this man is my hero!

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Infection

I usually have something funny, witty, or stupid to say here, but not this time. I will warn you that you are about to enter into a place where most fear to tread, that of Infection, an episode so bad that it almost makes my eyes bleed every time I watch it. Not the good, “Oh, I’m possessed by the Devil” sort of bleeding either, but the “Oh crap, I’m having my period through my eyes” sort of bleeding. Not that I would know anything about having a period. All you women know where to send the hate mail.

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