GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

2009

Starring: Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Rachel Nichols, Ray Park, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Christopher Eccleston, Sienna Miller, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Dennis Quaid, and Jonathan Pryce

Written by: Stuart Beattie, David Elliot, Paul Lovett, Michael B. Gordon, Stephen Sommers, and Lary Hama

Directed by: Stephen Sommers

Alright – Manned up! And did I ever. This movie is DUMB. Plain out STUPID.

I loved it. It is exactly what it should be. A BIG cartoon with a ton of violence, action, a few sexual innuendos to show that it’s not quite the kiddie show you grew up with.

Don’t look for sense in this story. You’ll go insane. Don’t go looking for any kind of subtlety. Everything from the weapons, to the effects to most of the characters just ooze big, dumb, and brash.

Once you get past the idea of looking for a story or any real character to these people you too will submit to the brow beating and just enjoy the film for what it was and is.

A popcorn summer blockbuster.

Is it enough for a franchise? I don’t know about that. But it was enough to entertain for an evening.

My one complaint in the film honestly is Channing Tatum as Duke. I admit to being a sucker for Duke growing up so maybe I’m just biased. But in a film full of vacuous scenery chewing performances of cartoon proportions, Channing is just…boring. Plain, vanilla, and simply a wallflower. Now I know Duke is the epitome of All American Hero, but he at least HAS a personailty in the cartoon.

Channing is personality-less.

But the eye candy of Sienna Miller certainly makes up for it!

Overall it is a fun film. I won’t watch it more than a few times or else I may start picking at it more and I think I’m just happy letting it be what it was at the time.

B-