My Bloody Valentine 3D

Starring: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith, and Tom Atkins

Written by: Zane Smith and Todd Farmer based on an Original story by Stephen Miller

Directed by: Patrick Lussier

Although I actually didn’t watch it in 3D, it was fairly easy to tell what was going to be coming out at me if I had been. But unfortunately it seems as if the filmmakers worried more about the 3D and the special effects rather than the rest of the movie. There were definitely some good moments, and I don’t think there was lack of overall effort, but the movie simply felt flat overall.

A remake of the 1981 film that Quentin Tarantino declared his favorite slasher film, the newcomer does it’s absolute best to ratchet up suspense in the whodunit style, but it never connected with me, a fan of horror in the utmost. I felt as if I was watching a WB horror flick, with one exception.

Gore.

This is a gory one. The filmmakers know very little of subtlety or leaving to the imagination. From eviscerated corpses to seeing a man’s jaw ripped off it’s hinges and a pickaxe driven through someone’s eye…well if gore is your thing, you should love this one.

The story in a nutshell? A miner by the name of Harry Warden was trapped in a cave in caused at least in part by the owner’s son, Tom. While in there Harry killed the other miners to conserve oxygen. Afterwards he went on a killing spree which eventually sent Tom to a mental institution and allowed his girlfriend to marry Tom’s friend Axel.

Now, years later, Tom has been released, Axel is the sheriff and Tom wants to sell the mine which is the backbone of the small town. One problem is that it seems Harry has come back and started another string of murders.

Most people can already tell what’s going to happen.

SPOILERS THOUGH IF YOU HAVEN’T FIGURED IT OUT…

I have to give credit that they do a slam up job TRYING to make it seem like the killer could be someone else than looney Tom. They make Axel less likable as he has been revealed to cheat on his wife. Axel also reacts violently to Tom most of the time, and in the original film…Axel was the killer. They even revealed the killer early so you would think it was too early and would follow along as they tried to shift the blame to Axel. So it really was a good effort. And yet despite it all, it could never have really been anyone else but Tom.

END OF SPOILERS

Overall it was pretty much an average film with some cool gory moments, and the feel of creators who tried. They just didn’t succeed.

C