The War Prayer

Branding is not fun, unless it involves a hot girl and plenty of whiskey! Ivanova is easy, I mean, really, really easy, and I’m down with that. Sinclair gets all in a tizzy about anti-Aliens and Garibaldi has to run for cover as the spittle comes flying his way. What’s the point of super neato camouflage generators if you turn them off all the time? Londo, if your shoes are so fricking tight, then just loosen them up man!

Written By: D.C. Fontana
Directed By: Richard Compton

Bare Essentials:

A Plot - The Home Guard are attacking aliens on B5. The natives are restless and Sinclair fakes being an alien hater in order to enter their organization. A PPG fight ensues and Sinclair with the help of Ivanova and B5 security stops the Home Guard before they can enact their plan to assassinate all the B5 ambassadors.

B Plot - Aria Tensus and Kiron Maray, star struck lovers that happen to be the cousins of Vir arrive on station to avoid the arranged marriages that await them on Centauri Prime. Kiron is attacked by the Home Guard, but he pulls through. After much haranguing by Vir, Londo agrees to allow Kiron and Aria to wait until they are of adult age and if they want to get married then they can marry each other.

C Plot - Malcolm Biggs, a former lover of Ivanova’s, arrives on station. He very badly woos Ivanova, but she’s easy so she falls for it. Turns out he’s the leader of the B5 contingent of Home Guard and as such he ends up being shipped off station for a jail cell following the actions of Sinclair and Ivanova.

More Arc, Less Arch:

For as bad as it was Sinclair’s speech to Ivanova about Kosh does further along the point about Kosh not being at all what he may seem to be.

Who Are You? What Do Yo… Hey, I’m Asking The Questions Here!:

How exactly does Garibaldi plan to charge G’Kar with anything when his diplomatic immunity prevents that?

Idiosyncratic Musings:

There isn’t much in this episode, because honestly the appearance of a group like Home Guard is a natural extension of the human condition of fearing that which is different. Possibly the one thing that could bring humans that would usually hate each other together would be a united hatred of something that is completely different from humans in every way. Other than that there were a couple small points of interest.

G’Kar’s speech, while short, hints at his great oratory skills and his ability to rally people behind him. This will become especially important as his character begins to undertake a deep moral and philosophical changes in seasons two and three.

The quote from Kosh about not being interested in the affairs of others is, ahem, interesting. On the one hand he is telling the complete truth, unless the matter concerns them the Vorlons aren’t interested at all in the affairs of others. But, as we will see the Vorlons are very interested when the affairs of others go against what they want. However that quote is so interesting because it represents the duality within Kosh. While on the one hand he is a Vorlon and does in some way believe the Vorlon line of not taking an interest in the affairs of others, he is also quite a different Vorlon. As we will see throughout the series Kosh takes an extreme interest in all affairs alien to the Vorlon. From helping Sheridan discover who he is to guiding G’Kar down his path, to interfering on a galactic scale in the Earth-Minbari War with a few simple words to Delenn. That type of interest is not the norm with the rest of the Vorlons and that helps to set Kosh apart from the rest of the Vorlons and truly reveals why he is such an interesting and well liked character.

I See What You Did There:

Ivanova is illegally growing coffee beans in the hydroponics garden, just like her predecessor, Lt. Commander Takashima did in The Gathering.

Ivanova served on Io.

It’s Not Kosher If It’s Not Kosh:

“We have no interests in the affairs of others.”

Say It Again Mac:

Londo Mollari, “These are my three wives: Pestilence, Famine and Death.”

Mollari again, “Their personalities could shatter entire planets.”

Lost In Translation:

Commander Sinclair overstating the obvious, “I want these scum, Michael. I want them bad!”

This time Mollari chimes in on the wrong side with his whole, “My shoes are too tight…” speech. It’s all far too bitty and way too melodramatic.

It’s Your Cultural Imperative:

The Home Guard is one of many pro-Earth/anti-alien groups that have sprouted up in recent times. These groups are responsible for a series of attacks on aliens on both Babylon 5 and Mars. In the case of the Home Guard they brand the victim with their emblem, a dual human male and female symbol from ancient Greek mythos.

The Centauri have engaged in the practice of arranged marriages for over 1,000 years.

Tee’la are Minbari poem songs that attempt to recall old memories and prompt new ideas.

The Drazi act as troublemakers in The War Prayer, a role they will fill for the rest of the series.

The Abbai Matriarchy make their first appearance on Babylon 5. A biped aquatic looking race, they have what appears to be a dorsal fin running across the top of their head like a mohawk. They are members of the League Of Non-Aligned Worlds and function using a matriarchal society, one where women are in all the positions of power, and are a rather small power in the universe.

The long haired loud mouth in the council chambers is, I believe, a member of the Brakiri Syndicracy. The Brakiri are a biped race that are a patriarchal society in matters of government and military, but their business world is dominated by females and they are responsible for much of the Brakiri’s advancement in the universe. They are very human looking except for their raised foreheads, rather receding hairlines, harsh and pale skin tone and the bony almost caved in structure of their faces. They are considered among the universe’s biggest pack rats and borrowers of technology, but are still viewed as a very powerful member of the League Of Non-Aligned Worlds and one of the bigger non-major powers in the universe.

The Centauri honor the custom of fosterage, wherein an adolescent Centauri can be taken in and fostered by a noble house until he/she is of adult age.

EarthForce has developed full camouflage suits called Black Light. These are different from camo gear in that they actually allow the wearer to completely disappear from sight.

I Think This Might Be Based On Something:

The episode title, The War Prayer is a nod to the Mark Twain piece of the same name.

You Look Mighty Familiar:

Danica McKellar, Aria Tensus, has grown up to be quite the hotty, just ask Maxim. She should of course be known to everyone and their mother as Winnie Cooper, the constant love interest of Fred Savage’s character on The Wonder Years.

Michael Paul-Chan, Roberts, also played an alien hater in the Alien Nation episode, Contact. He has had numerous other appearances but he is most recognizable in the flesh as Judge Lionel Ping from Arrested Development and Det. Lt. Mike Tao on The Closer. He also lent his voice to the character of Jimmy Ho on The PJs.

Nancy Grahn, Shaal Mayan, is actually quiet the hotness under all the prosthetics and baggy robes. She has been a long running character, Alexis Davis, on the soap General Hospital.

Tristan Rogers, Malcolm Biggs, voiced the character of Jake in the movie, The Rescuers Down Under.

Casting Ahead:

Mark Hendrickson makes another appearance as yet another alien, this time he is one of the Drazi that beats up Roberts.

That Wasn’t Supposed To Happen:

The close-up on the picture of Londo’s three wives reveals that they are not at all the same three women that will portray said wives later in the series.

In a point that still grates on my nerves, apparently when Dr. Kyle and Lyta Alexander “saw” Kosh in The Gathering all of the medtechs that were in the room magically disappeared. In The Gathering they ignore all of those people seeing Kosh and they continue to ignore them in this episode.

Apparently in Garibaldi’s world “nabbing the perps before they could kill the guy” constitutes tracking them down well after they have already fled the crime scene and left their victim behind.

When Malcolm first is in Ivanova’s quarters the door slides open for him to leave well before he ever goes near it.

The Ombuds Have Decided:

A bad episode through and through. Some spiffy dialogue on the part of Londo and some minor piece moving for the future are all that save this episode. Predictability and clichés abound in The War Prayer and it never gets out of any of those clichés or stops being predictable. Predictability in and of itself isn’t the worst thing, but you at least need a good journey to make up for the predictable ending, and The War Prayer fails to deliver a good journey along with a good anything else.

Shaal Mayan was far too mousy and the actress played the part far too small for her to be a believable Minbari. Throughout the series we are shown that no matter what their place in life or their circumstances the Minbari people carry themselves with a certain stature and physical strength. Mayan is the exact opposite of that and doesn’t come across as a convincing Minbari as a result.

The character of Malcolm was far too transparent from the get go. Because of how the actor portrayed him and because of how he was written it is apparent from the start who he is and where he is going. That level of transparency and predictability in the plot is not good storytelling.

Sinclair’s entire speech about Kosh’s poisoning in The Gathering is clumsy, bad, and obvious exposition. It tries to make sense of a plot that didn’t make any sense to begin with and it only serves to make it even more of a muddled mess and drags this episode even further into the muck.

All the scenes with Sinclair “acting” like an alien hater are bad, bad, bad. They come across as very transparent and contrived and it’s rather obvious that Sinclair is hamming it up and lying through his teeth while Ivanova stands there like a statue and never bothers to offer any inklings of agreeing with him. All of this of course leads to the Home Guard giving Sinclair a full functioning PPG complete with a full battery pack as a test of his loyalty. I don’t know if you can get more stupid than that.

Of course that all leads to the end of the episode where Ivanova delivers the speech about these aliens being more human that some humans speech that everyone should have seen coming from a mile away. Not only is it obvious in that scene but it was obvious from the moment the show started that it would end with someone giving that exact speech.

Rating:

52/100

D

Thank goodness that one’s over, and next time I shall regale you with And The Sky Full Of Stars where there won’t be as many clichés, but things may get a little convoluted.

Cheers,
Bill

Previous - 1.06

Next - 1.08