You Don’t Mess With The Zohan

Starring: Adam Sandler, John Turturro, Emanuelle Chriqui, and Rob Schneider
Written by: Adam Sandler, Robert Smigel, and Judd Apatow
Directed by: Dennis Dugan

You know, I’ve always been an Adam Sandler fan. I loved him on the SNL series, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore and a few of his other movies. I had heard people talking in line that this movie was going to hearken back to that kind of comedy, even though the trailer wasn’t all that funny. Simply put, I was in the mood for a good comedy when I went to the theater. I even asked the person behind the counter if it was good and she said it was a lot like the old Adam Sandler movies. Needless to say, she was lucky she wasn’t in sight when the movie was over.

I’m not even going to bore you with many of the details of this movie. Basic plot was that an Israeli army guy(Sandler, of course) would rather be a hair dresser. He fakes his own death and travels to NYC by smuggling himself on a plane in a dog cage with 2 dogs, which he proceeds to give cuts to from an old Paul Mitchell book from 1987. In the end he makes a terrorist want to live his dream of selling shoes and everyone lives happily ever after and bangs the guy’s sister who hired him as a hairdresser.

Look, this has got to be the worst Adam Sandler movie EVER. I say it’s worse than Punch Drunk Love and Little Nicky. A movie is not a comedy when I have to wait an hour to laugh for the first time. I would rather put corkscrews in my eyes and ears than have to sit through that pile of crap movie again.

The grading system we have does not allow me to give a Z- so I will give this movie a very sound

F-